Copyright © All rights reserved.
Short Stories
- NEW Heat beyond the fire station (erotic romance)
- The challenge – part 1 (erotic romance/kink)
- The challenge – part 2 (erotic romance/kink)
- The mysterious man from the beach (romance)
- Stalemate (part 1) (romance, apocalyptic)
- Stalemate (part 2) (romance. apocalyptic)
Blog posts on Pseudonyms / Pen names
Imagine poetry
- Imagine your words
- Imagine a writer
- Imagine a cabin (The writer’s cabin, formerly The lover’s cabin)
- Imagine a schedule (Elusive escape)
- Imagine a tree (Love on branches)
- Imagine a friend (Clandestine tales)
- Imagine a new day (Idle no more)
- Imagine a book (Short supply)
This pulled me in…has piqued my interest. Like other commenters, I look forward to more.
As for point of view, the person telling the story has to go with what feels right to them. When I started writing, I felt more comfortable with 1st person. Later on, I used 3rd. Now, I use whichever the story tells me to. To each his own.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Isn’t this interesting! Thank you for your comment. 🙂 I have put it on hold, I have so many other things going through my mind, but I find with this particular story, when it hits me, I just type and type. You can probably understand this since you’ve been writing on and off for a while, too…as I’ve discovered. 🙂
Thank you for reading.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is so good. Want to read more.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! I have lots more chapters but I’m so…not into it right now. Working on a different project which I am at the point of wanting to toss into a fire (if I had a fire place)…lol. But thank you. This is very encouraging. I will let you know when I pick it up again. 🙂
LikeLike
I like the third person. I think it has impact. If you want, try it in first and see how it feels.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I did. Didn’t like it. 😉
Thank you for reading.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀😀😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know you’ve already made your decision, but what’s a blog without one more opinion lol Most memoirs are told in first person, but for some reason, I like this story told in third.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. I tried to re-write it in the first person but it didn’t work. For me, that is. I still welcome other perspectives, thank you for yours. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve recently read two popular memoirs and am currently reading another one. All of them are told first person and I kind of like the detachment of the way you use third person. It’s different and that’s interesting to me. I’m not sure it’s sustainable for an entire memoir so if you switch to first person along the way, I suggest explaining why you began describing your childhood memory as though it belonged to someone else.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like it. it’s interesting. It made me want to see how the rest is going to play out for “the little girl”. I would keep turning the pages.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This drew me in…to want more. I’ll await chapter two.
Like Karen, though, I question the use of third person.
Also, I suggest avoiding usage of the word “very.” Instead, qualify that with details. What is a “very bad headache?” Yes, the editor in me emerges.
Please continue writing and rewriting and shaping this into the compelling story that has already snagged my interest.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I love it how it is. I grew up in England but I’m a similar age to you and so much of your story resonates. We certainly didn’t question adults. I think the third person works and I really feel for the seven year old you. I wanted to keep reading.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your feedback. I have many ideas, and a lot if chapters written, including a switch to the adult voice. We’ll see how this continues over the next month’s. 💟
LikeLike
This is wonderful. Really wonderful.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I want to talk to you but can’t right now. Probably not till Sunday…
LikeLike
I can see tension and also implications for later life decisions.
For example how the little girl’s understanding of how her mother reacted, “you’re getting to big to carry,” might have an over sensitive child choose reactions later in life that over-exaggerate the feeling of being a burden etc.
Or the mysterious outing the Mom had. Was it really mysterious? We don’t need to know at all, but it sure makes me curious and opens the door for a completely different narrative, book, story. How does the Mom see the story? What angst did she go through? And what self-blaming and condemnation did she or even does she go through?
Finally, how does this story effect the little girl today? The repercussions in health (I know a bit of the story) but also: how she navigates parenting? Makes important decisions?
I think there are many areas to explor next and you build the curiosity very well. Thank you for sharing!
When do we get chapter two?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like it ! I felt the pain of the headache . My opinion describe more on how the hill felt climbing it the feeling of the feat .. like I said my opinion . I can get too descripted . Keep going .
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hope I didn’t over step .. I can be too expressive lol .
LikeLiked by 1 person
Of course you didn’t. Thank you for taking the time to respond…I wish I remember walking on the actual hill, but I don’t. I mean, I remember walking up and down it every day under normal circumstances, but the day of the headache, I don’t remember the effort of that part of the walk. Hm…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Okay I wanted to make sure. That’s understandable that you wouldn’t remember . How did it feel on those days hard ? If so the headache can make the hill have seem easier because the pain taking away from the climb . Once again my opinion . Keep going so interested in reading more. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s not that I dislike it – I say keep it for now, if that’s what feels right for you. It may give your memoir a distinct feel from others. You may be able to add, perhaps in the next chapter, just what you said above – that you felt like you were watching it from the outside – from an adult perspective.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Interesting, and something new to consider. Thank you. Will make a note in my Scrivener app. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
This sucked me into the story, but why third person? I’m curious.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I switch to first person later in the book… it’s an unrefined idea, to change the voice. One I’m still developing.
I don’t know how to answer this. When the words tumbled out, it was like I was watching myself as a little girl from an adult perspective. It’s hard to explain…..
LikeLiked by 2 people