This morning, I bought one if those prepared Caesar salad kits you can get in the deli section of the grocery store.
While I was puttering with the container and scooping out some of the salad, I was listening to a YouTube video on affirmations and gratitude.
My salad was ready. All it was missing was the dressing.
I opened the dressing container – a small tub with one of those peel-back lids – and at the exact moment the video in YouTube reminded me to say Thank You, the salad dressing splattered all over my shirt.
Of course, I was stunned. Slowly, I felt the anger creep into me. I felt the familiar movie in my subconscious mind begin to play.
What the fuck else is going to happen today?
Earlier, I had to work hard at not letting exterior triggers in this house affect the happy disposition I woke up with. Which meant I was already working hard to not get pissed-off at the endless clutter around me. I’d been walking a precarious fine line the whole time I’d been visiting the family.
To redirect my pre-programmed movie about the house being inadequate and the girl child an incorrigible mess maker, I listened to YouTube clips. Then, I redirected my familiar thoughts about the cluttered house toward someplace where I wouldn’t be affected, or triggered by them.
“She’s not leaving her clutter to punish me,” I told myself. “She doesn’t love me any less because of the mess she leaves all over the house.”
It worked. I kept from blowing a fuse and it returned me to my center. I kept going:
“I love visiting the family,” I affirmed. “It’s Halloween! We’re going to have such fun tonight!”
Slowly, I felt my face muscles relax.
“The clutter is meaningless,” I reminded myself. “Their mess is not my responsibility. I’m here to connect with the people, not with the clutter.”
It was at that time I thought a Cesar salad sounded like a great lunch. So I called up a video on my phone to help me remain in the present moment. I found a clip in which Louise Hay was speaking about her book.
I was back in my happy space.
The damn salad dressing splattered all over me.
I knew I had two options at that moment:
1) Get pissed off and throw the entire salad with the stupid dressing container in the garbage
2) Be grateful I still had some dressing left to use on my salad
That was key, noticing without reacting that my salad was still there, in the bowl, ready to be consumed.
Not all of the dressing was on my shirt. There was enough in the container to spoon over my lunch.
So I said thank you.
That’s my gratitude and positive affirmation exercise for today. Or at least one of them…
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some laundry to tend to. 🙃