This morning, I bought one if those prepared Caesar salad kits you can get in the deli section of the grocery store.
While I was puttering with the container and scooping out some of the salad, I was listening to a YouTube video on affirmations and gratitude.
My salad was ready. All it was missing was the dressing.
I opened the dressing container – a small tub with one of those peel-back lids – and at the exact moment the video in YouTube reminded me to say Thank You, the salad dressing splattered all over my shirt.
Of course, I was stunned. Slowly, I felt the anger creep into me. I felt the familiar movie in my subconscious mind begin to play.
What the fuck else is going to happen today?
Earlier, I had to work hard at not letting exterior triggers in this house affect the happy disposition I woke up with. Which meant I was already working hard to not get pissed-off at the endless clutter around me. I’d been walking a precarious fine line the whole time I’d been visiting the family.
To redirect my pre-programmed movie about the house being inadequate and the girl child an incorrigible mess maker, I listened to YouTube clips. Then, I redirected my familiar thoughts about the cluttered house toward someplace where I wouldn’t be affected, or triggered by them.
This is how I break the cycle of feeling stuck in the familiar comfort zone.
“She’s not leaving her clutter to punish me,” I told myself. “She doesn’t love me any less because of the mess she leaves all over the house.”
It worked. I kept from blowing a fuse and it returned me to my center. I kept going:
“I love visiting the family,” I affirmed. “It’s Halloween! We’re going to have such fun tonight!”
Slowly, I felt my face muscles relax.
“The clutter is meaningless,” I reminded myself. “Their mess is not my responsibility. I’m here to connect with the people, not with the clutter.”
It was at that time I thought a Cesar salad sounded like a great lunch. So I called up a video on my phone to help me remain in the present moment. I found a clip in which Louise Hay was speaking about her book.
I was back in my happy space.
Until…
The damn salad dressing splattered all over me.
Sigh.
I knew I had two options at that moment:
1) Get pissed off and throw the entire salad with the stupid dressing container in the garbage
OR
2) Be grateful I still had some dressing left to use on my salad
That was key, noticing without reacting that my salad was still there, in the bowl, ready to be consumed.
And…
Not all of the dressing was on my shirt. There was enough in the container to spoon over my lunch.
So I said thank you.
That’s my gratitude and positive affirmation exercise for today. Or at least one of them…
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some laundry to tend to. ๐
Re-framing is so necessary and sometimes, so hard. Glad this worked for you.
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Love this! Such a great reminder that a bad moment doesn’t equal a bad day and that the actions of others may not be personal.
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Yes! You put that perfectly! ๐
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๐
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I can relate so much to this post. It’s so hard to keep a lid on it sometimes – especially when you’ve cleared a room, go to do something else, and then come back to a disaster again.
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Yes. Sigh.
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Good work. Keep it up!
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I love that for you Claudette! I’m so glad you corrected your mindset, that’s really hard to do. I’ve missed you and your blog! Sorry I’ve been MIA. We had an early frost hit our farm and I had to work my butt off getting everything buttoned up for winter. Excited to catch up with you!
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Thank you LaShelle, for stopping by. I don’t blog as much as I used to so you’re not missing much. ๐ I hope you got everything done with that first frost… we’re currently experiencing summer weather in Toronto, which is very rare and weird for November. Good luck with winter!
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I hope you enjoy it while it lasts!!
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Well done on controlling the anger and being aware of what is really important. Gratitude is definitely the best attitude!
Blessings!
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You could have taken your shirt off, added the salad, and used it as a plate!
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Men.
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I’m just trying to be practical here!
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Five second rule applies here. Your shirt was clean prior to the salad dressing assaulting it, right. Scrape the splatter off with a spoon, mix it in with what’s left in the little container, then stir into the salad. Change shirts, spray a bit of Resolve on the stain, pour a glass of wine, and enjoy lunch. Stress free and you’re primed for the afternoon. It’s all good!
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Awesome advice. ๐
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You crack me up and you inspire me at the same time Claudette! Well done, and what a great example you are for us all desperately trying to hold onto the important things and let the rest go! Bravo! Oh, and the laundry, it never ends and we might need to noodle a little more on that one. Hugs, C
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Laundry to be done…with a great perspective on the rest of the day ahead.
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Note, it’s the next day and I have not yet started the laundry. ๐ But I put the shirt in the laundry basket… ๐
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Its a start…
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You handled it very well! I have sometimes wondered if giving thanks for something doesn’t…hum…jinx it in some way. It’s the kind of thing that it feels wrong to say, but I have experienced it more than once!
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Gratitude, I’m learning, is never a bad thing. But I’m confused, was I supposed to be grateful for more laundry, too? ๐ค๐
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I could use a lot of help and practice in the stay calm and carry on realm. Good for you for talking yourself out of a pissed off attitude!
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It’s not easy… I emailed you a few days ago. Maybe I had the wrong email. Check if I landed in your spam folder. It was about Owen Meany.
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Really? I get so much ridiculous spam lately that I really don’t even look but just do bulk deletes! You may have been gone with all the crap, sorry. What did you write? It’s been so long since I read Owen Meany. There’s a new John Irving book out called The Last Chairlift that’s getting mixed reviews.
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Let me forward it again, from my yahoo account.
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What a great choice – and lovely story for us all to be able to learn from. Thank you, Claudette!
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Thank you Wynne. And happy Halloween ๐ to your little munchkins! ๐ป
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That right there is the most difficult thing to learn. When everything seems to trying to make you angry, to stop and chose not to be angry is so difficult, but it means less apologizing and feeling like a jerk for me.
I also find that when every single thing seems designed to make my head explode that laughing at the ridiculousness of it all is helpful.
You have much wisdom Sensei๐
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It’s hard but I’m doing it anyway. ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐
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