Understanding men

I have a question for the dating community, or really anyone who knows the answer to this one:

When a man says

I’m in a good place mentally

What does he mean?

Does he mean:

  1. He’s in a good place mentally and feeling content and fulfilled
  2. He wants you to think he’s in a good place mentally
  3. He’s saying this to everyone in order to convince himself that it’s true
  4. He’s horny
  5. Something else?

I’ve read and heard this several times in recent years now. I’m curious what you think.

If you’re a man, feel free to enlighten me.

If you’re a woman and have/had direct experience with this phrase, I am all ears. 😎

See you in the comments!

We can now resume regular programming… 🙃


41 thoughts on “Understanding men

  1. As a single man, I can’t speak on behalf of all men by any means, but I’d say any guy that says this means one of two things. 1. He’s in a good place mentally… or 2. He’s on the precipice of a huge mental breakdown. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree with A Star on the Forehead. I have known people who went through something awful (death, divorce) and when they’ve made it through, they are self aware that they are in a good place mentally. If you’re just meeting this person, and unfamiliar with their history, ask them what they mean. It’s a great conversation starter.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. HI Claudette,
    Like some people here mentioned, context is everything, but I have encountered some versions of that. It has been mostly from men that have struggled with a divorce or death of a spouse and now they have come to terms with that.
    Blessings to you!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Like others have mentioned, context is everything. That being said, it sounds a little off. I have never heard my viejo say so in 15 years …and I hope he has been in a good place mentally and otherwise all this time 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’ve been married 38 years and have never once heard that phrase from my husband’s lips. But I suppose I would take it as he’s happy, content and or satisfied with his life.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. “I’m in a good place mentally” ummm… does that mean he usually isn’t? Did he just get back from some kind retreat?? Did his doctor adjust his meds??

    I’m with the others in that it’s an odd thing to say. Unless it’s part of a general mental health conversation.

    I believe #4 is a constant😉😂😂😂

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Hmm. All or any combo of the above, depending on the person and context. In 40 years of dating I have never heard anyone say this. I guess if I did it would raise the possibility of issues, and I’d ask the person to explain what he means.

    What I have heard is “I’m happy with my life.” In my experience that has meant the person is not looking to change his lifestyle by getting involved in a serious relationship. But everyone is different and I’ve learned to ask for clarification. Sometimes, just the reaction to a request for more discussion is the most telling sign of all.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. “I’m happy with my life” and my phrase could mean exactly that, not wanting to change, or risk, current circumstances. Or, the speaker wants to keep the listener at arm’s length, maybe.

      Thank you for responding with your repertoire of wisdom. 😉


  8. Speaking as a man, I can’t imagine ever using a phrase like that. Quite honestly, I think you should be very wary of someone who says something like that — it sounds suspiciously like they’re quoting from some list of “What Women Want to Hear”.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. well, to offer a male perspective 🙂
    I don’t think I have ever said this about myself. But if i had, context would matter. For example, was I asked about my geeral psycho condition, or did I just blurt it out, or did it come up sort of naturally as part of the conversational topic? The other thing that matters is the person, the guy. I think all five of your multiple choices could be totally possible in different circumstances. You cannot tell just from the words. You have to look deeper. If I were in a dating context and a woman said that to me, I would ask “tell me what you mean?”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Context of course matters, but it was the general meaning of the phrase I was interested in.

      In this particular case I took it to mean he was feeling the opposite of lonely which was a thing during the pandemic lockdowns for many people (22 months). It also meant he was probably having sex.

      But the phrase itself seemed to me, at the time and within context, a strange thing to say. Almost like he was trying to keep others at arm’s length. 🤷‍♀️

      Appreciate the feedback! Thank you.


  10. No matter the sex, if someone has achieved a personal life goal such as you mention I find the announcement of that goal off-putting. I see no reason to announce it, simply live the life it represents. It would be a worrisome red flag to me.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. To me it would mean, I have baggage that you should be aware of. Perhaps in a good place at that moment. A way to creatively say I am being real and in touch with my emotions. Perhaps it’s also to convince you otherwise because he may be damaged and comes across as such (ie. Depressed, never smiles) and feels the need to drive the point home, that you can’t judge a book by its cover.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. It’s a lie. People who ARE mentally healthy don’t say things like this. IMO, he’s barely hanging on and the least little upset will shatter him. There’s a reason it’s standing out to you ~ and that’s because it’s a red flag!

    Liked by 1 person

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