Kicking the pity party to the curb

Yesterday, two people walked right past me, literally a foot distance from my physical person.

They knew I was there, waiting for them.

They walked past me and into the parking lot like their life depended on it.

I thought, have I reverted to being invisible again?

Honestly, I’m beginning to think I create this reality for myself. This isn’t the first time I was walked past at this exact location. It’s not the first time this bothered me. It welled up feelings of being taking for granted, inadequate or unimportant…

The reality is, what I think of myself is what should drive my mental health. Yes, I did follow them, and yes, they were both preoccupied about an unfortunate situation, but really? They were the ones who wanted me to show up, texted me details and everything…

Sigh.

I struggled with invisibility before, throughout my 40s. I wrote about it in two places; the feedback via comments was immense (thank you):

I thought I was beyond it by now, and for the most part, this hasn’t been a prevalent theme in my 50s. I won’t let it get to that point again, but yesterday threw me off-kilter for a bit. I didn’t sleep well, I felt alone and unappreciated, which means a healthy does of self-love needs to happen today.

I began with some tarot cards from two decks.

The Two of Pentacles showed up twice. All I can say is, thank you spirit or the universe or whoever is guiding me here. I’m paying attention. (How apt…)

Perhaps it’s time to reactive Tarot Tuesdays tomorrow… what do you say?

And then… I made a comfort food. A salad can be comfort food… (click here to see the pictures). πŸ™‚

Thank you for coming to my pity party. I’m all better now.

See you in the comments!

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22 thoughts on “Kicking the pity party to the curb

  1. I have often felt invisible in my family when I was growing up compared to my older sister. Wallflowering and being quiet (and quite boring) was my thing. On the flip side attention is always a negative thing for me. So I’m OK with it. Tarot Tuesdays ahead of time. Yes please!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I hear you over feeling invisible and I too am going through this. Trying to blog here at this site was an example of it as I didn’t feel my content was enough to be noticed and it made me feel embarrassed and humiliated 😦 I reached out to you over email and never received a reply. I mean it’s okay. Maybe you got it and realised I’m not your type of friend after all? I say this as no one is obligated to reply to me and I understand it’s hard to say the words “thanks but no thanks” over others trying to reach out. I write these words to show you you weren’t invisible to me and I tried lol.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You did Katy? I remember reading and responding…which email address did you use? I’ll go double check.

      First lesson; I always respond to genuine messages, maybe not the day of, but always. So this must be a technical issue…

      Second lesson (and I do this too) – assumptions are often the go-to reaction when something like this happens for me too. I do this more often than I care to admit. I definitely would not say thanks no thanks to you… ❀

      We’ll figure it out. I’ll go check now. I have 3 email addresses, let’s figure out where we attempted connection.

      Like

  3. I’ve been invisible most of my adult life. People don’t see me– or if they do they tell me I look like their second cousin who lives elsewhere and they don’t stay in touch with anymore. [True story] I like being invisible, the better to watch people and see who they really are. Bwah-ha-ha!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree that sometimes invisibility is a good thing, when you want to hang back and observe. But this time, I felt resignation at the repetitiveness of it all. Specifically because we made plans to meet over a period of two days… Sigh.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s more about me than them, how I let actions of others affect me. They were preoccupied and it was unintentional, but the post was more about how I felt because I attached weight to their actions. I’m trying to be more compassionate and understanding without falling into a pit of despair when I hope for something that doesn’t happen.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I had a bit of a pity party myself. I blame Mars & Venus stirring up Pluto.πŸ˜‰

    Great pulls!! Yes please for Tarot Tuesday!!

    I pulled 3 Majors this morning😲
    Justice, Strength, Shadow
    Which in my Spirit Song deck are represented by Crow, Elephant, Jackal

    See?? Pluto is all stirred upπŸ˜‰πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ’ŒπŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I was reading on some astrology site… Elsa Elsa I think, about how Libra has been through the wringer lately, but it gonna get better soon. I’ll see if I can find it. Good news is always helpful… even if it’s astrology πŸ˜‰πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I found the thing, and I thought it said more, but that was itπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

        Yeah, a Cancer Moon will be very emotional… just only a LOT. It’s good for nurturing though too. Nurture yourself!

        I ran a transit chart for the full Moon coming up… all of our age group have Chiron (old deep wounds… childhood or past life) in the same place and its gonna get hit by the Sun & Moon, as a Full Moon does.
        Could be a traumatic day. It’s my mother’s birthday… talk about childhood woundsπŸ™„πŸ€¦πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ

        Liked by 1 person

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