Firstly, thank you for commenting on the original post. ๐
I think my intention was misinterpreted by some, so I hereby give you a short, in-depth analysis/elaboration/explanation before delving deeper into this topic.
Here’s the quote I referred to before:
Men tend to choose women who will make them look good to other men.
(paraphrased)
Reminder: this isn’t my quote. I read it somewhere and paraphrased it because I couldn’t immediately find the source article.
Clarification
The original article, which planted this topic’s seed into my head, was specifically about single men who desired to be in a relationship but weren’t and didn’t know how to make it happen or last.
So technically, I should have paraphrased the quote by saying “single men” even though I already used the words single and men in my title of my original post.
However, in my defense, the quote used the word “tend to”, which in itself implies, at least in my view, that “not all men” or only “some men” tend to, or sometimes pick women of a certain caliber to make themselves look good to other men.
I didn’t want to get hung up on semantics.
Generalizations
Some of you remarked on the generalization of this statement.
I don’t want to get into a pissing contest about the word “some” or “not all”. To me, it was obvious that not all men are like this.
My point was about the men who do this – pick a certain type of woman who makes them look ‘good’ (whatever that means) to his male tribe.
The quote is obviously a generalization; I was trying to get at the meaning of the statement itself rather than nit-pick about the 37% of the male population who is not like that. (Or the 86%, or the 5%, or the 99%. Let’s not nit-pick the percentage either).
Isn’t it obvious that not all men, single or not, do this? Equally, I’m not implying that all women who look a certain way are like that, either.
Terminology
Sometimes, we use labels to describe someone which may elicit a certain image in our heads.
If I see or use the words ‘Femme Fatale’ or ‘Barbie doll’ or ‘Trophy wife/mom’ the image forming in my head is of a very specific type of woman: she is rich and shows it in the way she dresses and displays herself with make-up, most likely has Botox and other alternations made to her face and body, wears designer clothes and shoes or something resembling designer labels, has perfect hair and make-up at all times, probably visits a personal trainer for her fitness program, drives an expensive (big) car, smiles with straight and shiny white teeth through fattened-up lips, and sometimes has a chip on her shoulder and an attitude problem.
SOME rich women are like this. NOT ALL rich women are like this. (Happy now?) ๐
So what? Let them… maybe underneath all the doctored-up stuff, there is a lovely lady with a self-esteem issue trying to put one foot in front of the other.
What I’m saying is, the men and women act a certain way for reasons we are not always privy to and yet, we are all quick to label them based on the preconceived image we have in our heads. (Including me – I’m not special and have done this at times.)
Summary
As far as the quote at the top of this post is concerned, I simply wanted to address those types of men and didn’t think it necessary to point out that “not all men” or “only some men” are like this.
Thank you readers and followers for making me think (and type). Now, can we get back to regular programming? ๐
Stay tuned for more… ๐
See you in the comments.
Admittedly, I was commenting based on my own personal views. I’m sure there are men who choose partners for that reason. And women, as well. But without a true connection, how long is that relationship going to last? Beauty fades, but intellect is forever. Or at least until Alzheimer’s kicks in…
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Love this post in itself! Just goes to show how many people get hung up on the individual words without really reading or comprehending overall meaning or intent. You communicated very clearly what your goal was and analysed the original, and quote, words very succinctly.
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Well there’s going to be more on the topic so I will pick my words carefully… ๐
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Great post. Agree with pretty much everything you wrote (in both posts). Quite amusing that you had to clarify anything in the first place really.
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This is valuable information, I shall share with those near and dear to me who are trying to navigate thru their dating apps as we speak!
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Lawdy lawd! Did you stir up a hornet’s nest?
May I nit pick on how exhausting it can be to precisely choose words? On the one hand, it’s good to make sure our exact meaning is clear… words DO have power. On the other hand, can’t we all just agree that we’re talking in generalities and explore the general topic, rather than get hung up on the words?
And just to be clear๐ I’m referring to other topics and conversations in general, not this one specifically. YMMV๐๐
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Actually the definition of tend is regularly or frequently.
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Regardless of your phrasing, it was a thought provoking post and the comments were also interesting. I didnโt nit pick and it gave me something to think about. Iโve always been an anomaly to people who try to classify me because I donโt make personal choices to please others. Iโm comfortable in my own skin.
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How refreshing to read this. ๐
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Some men are more sensitive…all points well taken Claudette.
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