I spent my entire life feeling uncomfortable.
There, I said it. 😳
I realized something recently, though. I discovered that my writing has modified and reshaped my definition of discomfort.
This didn’t happen overnight. This was an ardorous, two-plus year journey in which I still find myself travelling.
I’m reflecting today because I completed a self-imposed project yesterday which included some heavy elements of discomfort.
I wrote two flash fiction stories for a literary contest. The stories I wrote touch on uncomfortable topics but push the reader, including me, into hindsight, reflection, and most importantly into a deeper level of understanding who we are, or more accurately, who we are becoming.
I really hope one of the two pieces I submitted is recognized in some way. But if it isn’t, I will self-publish it, both of them, into an ebook, an anthology of some sort.
The stories I submitted weren’t created just for the purpose of this contest. The stories were actually conceived about a year and a half ago. When I dug them up and re-read them, I cringed, not just at the elements of discomfort, but at my relatively unrefined writing style.
But the moment felt right to unearth, and tackle, the stories. I felt a now-familiar internal propulsion to seize the essence of these stories and re- work the structure into a more complete narrative.
I noticed immediately what the missing elements were in the originals; the characters needed refining and fleshing out, and I needed to weave a resonating message into the final product.
While I was doing all this writing and editing, I forced myself to really feel the discomfort up to the point when I felt it transform into acceptance, reassurance and comfort.
I have improved, so much, if I say so myself. Maybe I’m finally growing up … 🙃
But I’m still holding back a little. I’m not quite there yet.
Isn’t it strange how guarded I am? Protective of some imaginative fragility which I suppose I must have?
So. If one of the stories is accepted by the contest, I will advertise it here. If it’s not, I’ll publish it myself in an anthology and sell it. Either way, you will be able to read it then. (I love teasing people! 😇)
Tell me, do you tackle uncomfortable subjects in your writing? How do you deal with them?
Writer of Words etc 
I said it many times, writing is healing.
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You are right. Agreed.
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You ask, “Isn’t it strange how guarded I am?”
Well you know, my answer would be no it is not. I’ve spent most of my life feeling uncomfortable in one way or another., so I get why you’re guarded. Just saying…
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I just want to learn to be more comfortable in my own skin…
Thank you for sharing your experience, Ally.
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Ha? You mean like my blog yesterday which I think I pissed off half my readers? I do me. Unapologetically. If you don’t understand, don’t want to listen, purposely misinterpret, there’s nothing I can do about that. So just be you. Your voice. What moves you.
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I try to push myself everyday trying to write something new or out of my comfort zone.
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Yes. I’ve been exercising this exact thing. I kept telling myself, “if not now, when?” 😉
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The world isn’t always comfortable and many writers are able to capture that.
I find it difficult to even put a swear word in my writing even if I think my character is warranted in using one.
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Really? I never had trouble with swear words, I did have trouble with sexual/intimate situations in fiction… but there is a way to learn how to expand your comfort zone. It takes time though, and you can’t teach it, it has to come from within and with lots of practice. 🙂
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Love your post today about self reflection and growth. It is funny that now I cringe when I read again some of my erotic stories written awhile ago. We change and evolve and good thing too. Love you.
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A lot of self reflection WoW,e! I’m glad you do what you do.
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🙂
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I love the thought you read back over your work and appreciated how your writing has improved. Thats inspiring isnt it?
Yes I write about hurt and things I’ve done in the past I’ve regretted. Some I publish on my blog. Some stays in my book far from prying eyes.things I don’t even tell my best friends. Or even my hubby…
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I get it. I have a lot of material that hasn’t seen the light of day, and may not… 🙂
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