Unsolvable domestic mysteries

One day long ago, back in the olden days, I went to IKEA and purchased 5 sets of three scissors.

They came in a pack of two small and one large, if I remember correctly.

I then went to some other big box stores and happened to notice a bin of boxed scissors on sale for 70% off.

I picked up two boxes, one black and one blue. Three pairs of scissors in each box.

These scissors were then lovingly unpacked and placed in strategic places all around the house where one would typically use scissors. I even placed some in non-typical spots around the house where scissors are not usually required.

What I’m saying is, there were multiple scissors in bathroom drawers and kitchen cabinets and craft carts and desks and tables and jars and book shelves and tool boxes and bedroom drawers and hanging from the ceiling for…months.

Then, lockdown happened.

The family stayed home for 15 months every day all day. (And still is…) 😭

Not once in all this time have I ever seen anyone with a pair of scissors in their hands.

No one ever cut anything.

Oh, there are cut items all around the house so they must be cutting up stuff. I just never witnessed these activities.

Today, I needed some scissors.

I found three small red ones in a jar on the counter that used house about ten pairs of scissors. The new ones mixed in with old ones.

Why are old ones in the jar you ask?

That is a very good question. Because I do not keep items which lose their functional abilities. I place them into the garbage bin. I bid them adieu. I trash shit all the time around here.

Somehow however, the discarded scissors found their way back into the jar which, theoretically, I should be happy about because they at least put them into the correct location.

Except, the old scissors don’t cut. I mean, I tried to cut a piece of paper and it wouldn’t…

I threw the scissors in the garbage.

Then I wanted to reach for a newer pair to complete my task of cutting. Only, they were not in the jar.

Or the drawer. Or the cupboard. Or the craft carts. Or the desk.

I went to the bathroom. No scissors.


So. Where did they go, the new scissors that can cut?


51 thoughts on “Unsolvable domestic mysteries

  1. We have a similar battle with bowls. They vanish for weeks on end, until we threaten the kids with retribution should they not clean their rooms – and then magically the bowls re-appear, typically with month old cereal welded to them.

    Liked by 1 person

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