Heartbreak

My son’s last quadmester (4th semester consisting of two subjects due to remote/virtual learning) began a couple of weeks ago. It will run until the end of June, probably online. And then, he’ll have graduated grade 10 from inside of his bedroom. Thank you Mr. Trudeau and Mr. Ford. You are both equally to blame. (Don’t at me unless you’re Justin or Doug, I’m not going to rant and debate about this today.)

The last two of the usual eight subjects he has are French and fitness (Phys Ed).

Fitness is supposed to be weight training in the school’s weight training room. He specifically chose this elective because of the weight training.

Side note: We don’t have the space for a home gym, but we have a few basic items, which us adults use. I haven’t heard my son ask for them (yet). Technically, you can do fitness without equipment, or simple equipment like a skipping rope. But I’m not sure how the teacher rearranged the course now that they’re online, I’m just saying, there are a few things here he can use such as dumbbells, resistance bands, a kettlebell and similar.

But that’s not the point I’m trying to make. The point is, both my kids are struggling with motivation just to attend class each morning.

I’m heartbroken, for me as a parent and for them as active, social kids.

They’re doing it though, their online schooling, mostly unsupervised and unattended. I mean, 13.5 and 16 doesn’t require a lot of hands-on for the schooling aspect (thankfully). My sole role lately has been to shove food into their gullets, but beyond that, they don’t need, nor do they want any mom-intervention.

And then, this happened.

This morning, my son must have overslept because I got a text from him.

Note the time stamp. His class would have started at 8:45.

Since the automated phone system didn’t click in and started robocalling us about his absence, I assume he logged on just in time. Probably from bed. πŸ™„

Sigh.

I can guarantee you several things. One, many teens are likely ‘doing school’ from bed. Another, forcing them to adhere to some routine that, in the grand scheme of things, will result in pushback and arguments is counter-productive. Besides, there is no routine in lockdown. My kids have been locked down for the better part of 14 months and it likely will continue until summer break.

Look, both kids get great marks, all above B+s. Both are managing, mostly on their terms. And I know this lockdown and hopefully pandemic will eventually move on, but until then… I, we parents and educators, still have to raise these kids collectively.

So when I got that text this morning, I felt heartbroken instead of irritated. Because under normal circumstances, this thought wouldn’t have even crossed that boy’s mind.

Dad was making breakfast for himself when the text came in. I had just gotten up (unusual for me, I’m usually up prior to 6 am) so I asked him to double up on the food. He was making eggs. Then, he brought both of them something to eat in their rooms.

Sigh.

This happened once before, last week. This time though, he didn’t text me and it was five minutes prior to class starting. I worried he was sick so went to check on him and he was still asleep. “Alarm didn’t go off,” he said, checking his phone.

I brought him a plate on that day, too.

But don’t worry. This won’t turn into a habit. Even though my son came into the kitchen at lunch and presented this idea to me with a smile on his face.

Ya…nope, darling man-child. πŸ˜›

I said:

“But hey, if you’re up anyway why don’t you bring ME coffee in bed?”

You can imagine his response.

Anyway, they have been really good for most of the year at getting themselves up and making themselves breakfast if I didn’t already (I sometimes do, and sometimes not). I’m not complaining. But it’s been a really long year of stuck in the house, same old boring crap, so as their mom I want to help them, make things easier for them. Besides, I don’t mind making breakfast.

Now, can we get over it please? Can we get these kids back into the classroom and some activities? Because we’re all over it.

Blah.

19 thoughts on “Heartbreak

  1. I get it. I find myself lacking motivation lately, too. I feel sorry for kids stuck at home when they should be out there with their peers, learning, playing, snarking, doing normal teen things. What a mess Covid-19 has foisted on all of us.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I totally understand the frustration, the sadness and the anger. I thought school would never reopen for Ben, and the stress we had with Zoom made things worse.

    I missed out on school “milestones” when we moved from a traditional year district to a year-round district, and it’s sad and sucky at the time, but better stuff lies ahead… with the hope, right around that cornerπŸ˜˜πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ

    Liked by 1 person

  3. UK schools went back full time after Easter. Most people worried it was too early, but the race to vaccinate as many as possible seems to be winning the war against the virus at the moment. I wonder if it might take several years for people to feel safe about going out once more though.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The struggle is real. 17 year old that can barely wake up and a 11 year old with special needs that cannot concentrate when there is way too much distraction (ie: gaming and you-tube) to care about school. And trying to get the teacher to understand what Autism is – what a joke!! So yeah, to me this year has been a waste and nothing more than stress. Sorry for the bring down.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m sorry Lisa, I can only imagine what it must be like, especially for you and your younger one. My 8th grader is so unhappy about the fact that there’s no grad trip, no graduation ceremony… It’s really sad. I think there could have been a better way to deal with school throughout this ordeal…

      Hang in there.

      Like

  5. I think kids and parents adapt to different circumstances. If you grow up in the middle of nowhere, you learn to respect books and walking. You follow the lead of the parents. They will find their way with a little bit of help. Kids are very adaptable.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Heck, I have a hard time finding motif to get dressed before 9:00am these days. If I was still a teenager? I might never get out of bed at all. To be honest I feel worse for the kids than the adults. They’re missing out on so many one in a lifetime experiences.
    😨

    Liked by 1 person

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