Arbitrary thoughts

Sometimes I get sucked into an argument I don’t want to have.

Like today. I came home from running around all morning and I saw a child still in pjs plugged into a movie in the middle of the day and the dishes dumped on top of the open dishwasher.

It triggered me.

Here’s the thing. It triggers the child when I express my triggers. And, the child is struggling, a lot, with a brain that is still not fully formed, while in the throes of teen hormones, and during a global pandemic with no end in sight.

I am the adult. I am the parent.

I need to learn to let it go. An untidy house is not the end of the world. A mess in the kitchen will have to either be cleaned up by me, or left. It is not the end of the world and not worth an argument with a struggling child.

The triggers can be managed by me, the adult, better than by a struggling child.

Note: the child’s school has a covid outbreak and although this child’s classroom was unaffected, some of the students requested to stay home. The public health board is reporting covid variants of concern which are currently running rampant and the entire thing is not over. Maybe it’ll never be over ever again. BLAH.

Thanks for coming to me TED talk. Next time I cry about any of this to you, feel free to redirect me back to this post.


I finished binge-watching Bridgerton last night while consuming lemon meringue pie. The show gets quite sexy, doesn’t it… at one point, he’s on the steps with his face between her legs. Lol

But I admired the story line. I admired the dialogue, the character development, and as much as the societal standards make me cringe, it was presented very well.

Plus it’s eye-candy. The clothes, the homes, the hairstyles… โค

I may tune in for the next season, if there is a next season. But I may wait until it’s less new…I am not of the sort who jumps on trends that the general public is so intent of following. Or, maybe I will. Depends on my state of mind at the time when/if it happens.


I have started to listen to background noise (not music playlists) while sitting at this computer. The little household noises behind/beside me are distracting and the various colour noises I listen to are helping to tune them out. Mostly.

Someone suggested I listen to brown noise, but sometimes I listen to other noises too.

Currently I’m listening to Rainy Day Coffee Shop Ambiance with a very gentle piano tune playing behind some rain falling.

Problem is the rain noises are making me need to pee. ๐Ÿ™„

Perhaps I will go search up some of those library noises, like fire crackling or a feather pen dipped in ink scratching on a pad of paper.


Speaking of coffee shops, the one in my neighbourhood is closed on Mondays. I was driving by it and felt very wistful that I couldn’t go in.

I have some tentative plans to meet a blogger for a walk sometime this week but we’re keeping an eye on the weather – if it’s going to be too cold and too wet, she said we’ll just reschedule.

I miss having lunch and coffee dates with friends. I miss a lot of things…instead, I sit here and type words.


Speaking of words, I revamped my homepage again. I included a picture I took at my mom’s last summer, with the sunlight shining in through the birch trees. I did not manipulate that photo at all, I did not use the filters in the phone, I simply added it to my header. What do you think?

I also added a books tab. I am anxious to get started with the last steps of self-publishing. Yesterday I consulted my final checklist: I now have the categories and tags selected, but realized they are asking for a short and a long blurb. So back I go to book blurb development…

I will be using the Smashwords platform, and the genre will be in the romance/erotica sector under a pseudonym, but I am also continuing to work on other WIPs (work in progress) which I will release under my own name. Stay tuned, I’ll be sure to update you on my homepage.


And that’s another Monday in spring in Toronto during a global pandemic. Yippie do.

33 thoughts on “Arbitrary thoughts

  1. You’re tearing to the point where teenagers live in their own bubble and you’re out. I can only recommend one five-fold dose of patience each day before breakfast.
    Good luck with that.

    With regard to sounds, I remembered a disc with special effects that was our fun when there were still children in our house. Sound of wind, audience screaming in a stadium, steps on a ladder, one morning in the woods.

    The photo is great. The light leaking sloping through the trees. Congratulations on your talent with the camera.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve been bingeing Supernanny but all her techniques are for controlling screaming, biting punching, kicking toddlers so nothing applies here with your moody teen, but we all know dealing with dishes SUCKS and sometimes we JUST CAN’T. Right?

    I had never heard of “brown” noise or “colour” noise! I’ll have to check those out.

    Have a great rest of the week!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I meant to comment on your new blog layout. I like it! The photo reminds me of Deb’s description of what the yard looked like when she was using acid. If she tries to tell you she never has, don’t believe her.

    What’s the state of vaccinations up there? It seems like Canada is suddenly far behind the U.S. as far as those go…?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Don’t. Get. Me. Started. About. Those. Vaccines.

      I’m nowhere near anywhere close to having access to vaccines. And mom in her 70s gets her second shot 16 weeks after the first. WHICH HASN’T HAPPENED YET.

      Like I said, don’t get me started.

      But thank you for commenting on my layout. I think I will add a Tucker page…๐Ÿ˜‰


  4. I think weโ€™re all the end of our ropes in the patience department. Itโ€™s easy to say take a deep breath and walk away… not as easy to actually do it. As for background noise Iโ€™ve never been a fan, I enjoy silence.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The photo is what I would expect the yard to look like if I was using acid, which I never have, but there ya go. I rather like it. I am really proud of your views with the child. As I am on the older side, but can still remember those sorts of moments I don’t think that I would have ever stopped to really consider that point of view. I would just get ticked off, there would be words and everyone would be unhappy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The shot was a surprise…I keep looking at it. ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s a keeper.

      The child is struggling and keeping focus on her reality is front and center now. Is this virus gone yet? Ugh…

      Thank you for your comment, Deb, as always.


  6. Yes, you’re the adult, but you’re also human. It’s okay to not be okay some times. It’s okay to get triggered.
    So says Angie, legend in her own mind๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜‚

    Seriously though… don’t beat yourself up. Yes, it good to try to do better, but it’s good to show our kids that we have a hard time too.
    My Younger Daughter tries to hold herself to impossible standards because she saw me doing it. I’m not proud of teaching her thatโ˜น

    I love the picture. Very cool that it’s completely unfiltered. So awesome when that happens!๐Ÿฅฐ

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I like the photo, and the look of the blog.

    You’re more than halfway there with the Covid kid. Yet to come is your analysis of conduct. to determine your line between accommodating under stressful conditions and codependency. The conduct described didn’t require a blow-up, but might warrant some discussion about being self-aware, and possibly depression.

    I used Smashwords for pre-publication, publication. I allowed me to collect reader comments that I could then use for the back of the print version. Very helpful that way.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The use of ambient noise while doing daily tasks is interesting to me. I know certain types of music help me concentrate and others I find distracting. It would be interesting to know what psychological effects correspond to what types of ambient noise for a particular personality type.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Brown noise suggests flatulence to me. I listened to actual Brown noise on Wikipedia, and I think I’d prefer the flatulence. I Googled to see if the Shaw fire log is available year-round, and Shaw’s Youtube channel has an ASMR version with a creepy as fuck dude’s voice whispering along with it. So much for the chill fire log.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Thank you for the perspective. I struggle sometimes with the demands of my job that requires me to “be the adult” in extreme circumstances when even other adults around me do not seem to want to take into account that sometimes adults have triggers and learning problems and mental health problems.

    But that is just it. We are adults. We can speak for ourselves.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I love
    My younger daughter turned me on to that one.

    As for the kitchen, yes the kid is less capable than you when it comes to managing their emotional self, but as a teenager, they understand that each member of the household must be responsible. So cut yourself some slack on the mom guilt for holding someone accountable. โค


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