Memoir Mondays

Writing a memoir takes a special kind of focus which, in my experience, is best exercised by a continuous sprint of uninterrupted time.

Here’s how that goes for me: It doesn’t. 

Interruptions are a part of everyone’s life. Navigating around those interruptions is where the talented succeed…and I question whether I can count myself among those who manage to get their stories written despite interruptions. 

Yes, I question my talent.

I remember when I first started writing this memoir. The voice of the little girl (me in 1976) started to make itself heard one day several years ago. If I remember correctly, I sat down at the laptop and opened a Word document and just started typing. My mom was over for dinner, likely because she had taken my daughter to her gymnastics class. This was their thing they did together, once a week, and afterwards, all of us would have dinner together. Mom got to see her grandchildren, share in an activity with one of them, enjoy a family meal, and fill her heart with love, noise and chaos. That is, if the boys were around. Often, they were getting ready, or had already left for hockey practice.

That evening, I remember feeling like I was floating. It’s difficult to put into words…the little girl’s voice inside my head wanted to come out and since I  had access to my laptop (and adult supervision over my younger child) I just sat down and wrote the words as I heard them in my head.

That’s how it begins, this writing thing, doesn’t it. The words want to come out and so I let them out.

I wrote for days after that evening. I was able to tune out everything and just type like a maniac. I didn’t see or hear anything else and barely registered what needed to be done. Something inside me propelled me forward, kept me going. The kids, the family in general, they weren’t going to starve. Let them figure it out, I told myself. Let me get the words out.

When I did write all the words, I printed the sheets off, stapled them together, and handed them out to various family members to read and comment on. Including the youngest who was only about 6 or 7 at the time.

I look back at that time and think, why was I able to do it then, write while in deep focus? And why am I unable to do it now?

There is something inside me that’s blocking me.

And yet, this need to want to hear the voice of the little girl inside my head is continuous. It never dies down completely, but rather, it feels like it’s buried beneath some debris.

I listen closely, but she’s quiet, the little girl with the enormous headache.

What is blocking me? And why?

20 thoughts on “Memoir Mondays

  1. What you wrote here resonates with me. Tell your story and allow yourself the validity that is your voice. What you have to say is just as important as anyone else and your experiences are worth telling.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If the story is stuck in your head, it may just need time to develop. I wrote the thumbnail outline for my first novel in 1993. And there it stayed. My (then) husband liked the idea of my writing–but always managed to derail its reality. (And you think kids are demanding.) But life does that, too. A car accident, major illness, even depression can block you.

    When I left him, fourteen years later, I told myself that I’d better do it. What was the sense of the pain of separation, if it didn’t free up the parts of me that yearned to be me. A friend told me about NaNoWriMo–and that was enough to get it started. A story, once in your head, will come out. You’ve given it a voice, and it just needs to find its rhythms.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You have quite a story to tell, sounds like.

      The rhythm was there before and will return again. I have learned a few things over the years of writing on this blog.

      I feel like I have traction now. With the ongoing lockdown, no time like the present. It’s not like I’m driving to the rink every day anymore… πŸ˜‰

      Thank you for sharing your insights and wisdom.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You got this! I know there are days when writing seems impossible but I’ve found if I just open the computer and start the words will eventually flow. I think it’s great that you have such great plans and goals for your writing. You are an inspiration to me. All my best, C

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Beautiful post Writer of Words. I can see all those words in your young heart beating on the walls trying to get out. I too have periods when I can write and my fingers just fly across the keyboard, but also there are blank periods and not a word will escape 😁
    Sending you lots of love ❀️

    Liked by 1 person

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