When I took this selfie I was 18,994 days young. Or 27,351,548 minutes…
I don’t know if these numbers are correct, I plugged them into an automated calculator thingy on the internet. Those of you who are math wizards…
…can fool around…
… with these numbers at will. And then tell me if I look the same age in all of the pictures. Or not. Whatever. 😛
Anyway this playing around with selfies happened on the day between my birthday and my daughter’s birthday. 🎁🎂🎁 Yes, we celebrate birthdays right after Canadian Thanksgiving which means as of next weekend I will weigh at least ten pounds heavier. Because cake. Also pie (from Thanksgiving). And then there was a flan with caramel sauce and of course whip cream… 😉
However, there is another reason I took these selfies:
These pictures are the last ones of me as a 1-teen-1-tween mom you will ever see. After tomorrow my tween girl will be a teenager and I will have 2 teenagers in this house. Also, I will have aged another ten years overnight. 😛
(Not really…she’s a good kid). ❤
But I digress. Here’s what really happened:
As I was taking selfies I discovered this little icon on top of my screen. It’s called face beauty auto. You can keep it on auto, turn it on, or off.
It appears to be some sort of a beautification filter that’s built in to the camera of this phone.
I mean…what’s that all about?
Does this have to do with all the selfie-obsessed dating apps people use these days?
I inspected my pictures and thought something looked a bit different. One thing I realized was that my skin never looked so good as it did in these images on my phone now. No blemishes, no acne scars…
So naturally, I dragged myselft to the bathroom to verify my skin tone in the mirror. Mirrors don’t lie, usually. (Do they?)
Here’s what I found:
My skin wasn’t exactly blemish free in the mirror, but even with a few discolorations and a couple deeper wrinkles, it has seen worse days than right now, during midlife. (I do take care of myself much better than I used to back in my flight attendant days…)
I can accept my mirror image today. My camera image however…I look slightly different (better?) in the selfies and I wonder if those who know me in person would see this difference.
I’ll have to ask someone whom I’m not related to for an honest, objective opinion.
I’m going to have to investigate this beautification filter thing further, perhaps on other parts of me. For instance, can this filter tone up my arms? Or maybe, I don’t know, shrink parts of me like my middle section? Perhaps it can accentuate other parts as, um, fuller? Or less full? Rounder? Less round? Longer, or slimmer…curvier, or flatter?
God I feel like a Kardashian (sorry not sorry).
This whole situation has me all discombobulated.
Anyway, tomorrow is my daughter’s 13th birthday and there will be cake and I’m going to eat cake and refrain from taking any more selfies.
Stay tuned for less drivel and more/better writing in the coming days. Part 2 of Nick and Sabrina’s erotic adventure is almost ready for posting. 🙂