Friday thoughts – struggling

Depression is a stupid, evil thing, isn’t it.

I need to find a way to push it away, far away. I wish I could stay in bed and do nothing for the next week.

But…life, and all that. Blah.

I have a strange feeling my daughter’s education may be severely interrupted as she waits for placement at her former school. The covid numbers are rising and inevitable shut-downs will occur again with moves to remote learning…I just hope this happens after she’s finally been assigned a teacher.

They are short 80 teachers. If each teacher has, for simplicity sake here, 20 students per class that would be 1600 students without a teacher right now. Given how much tax we pay for public education, this is unacceptable. It enrages me, but it also saddens me.

Note: both my kids’ classes have had, over the years, at minimum 23 students.

I don’t know what to do except wait for someone to get back to us with the next step. If there’s a next step…


So today, while driving my son to high school, I had an idea. I will find out what books the kids are reading for grade 8 and grade 9 English, and get some of them into the house (or loaded as ebooks). She likes reading…at least that way, she’ll be on par with the rest of her classmates in English.

Maybe I’ll select some French books too.

So that’s on the school situation.

On the sports side of things, we went up to the attic yesterday and took down her ringette gear. The ringette girls wear similar equipment like hockey players do.

Turns out nothing fits anymore. 😳

Even the skates and helmet are too small! So I pawned that job off to her dad who knows his way around this stuff and he will get her outfitted before she hits the ice again next week.

I will need to move some funds around because this could get expensive…

Also yesterday, I went to my mom’s for a visit. My daughter and I needed a change of scenery and we decided to take puppy along too.

Out on her back patio, I found an almost dead finch. Poor little thing must have flown into the window and suffered a severe concussion.

I picked it up and my girl child was very saddened by it. We tried to give it some water, but it was clear it was dying so we found it a resting place during its final moments.

We left it lying on the flower pot in the sun. After a while it became rigid.

Poor thing.

At least the puppy didn’t see it, and there was no cat around either.

Today is Friday. Is this a good thing? I don’t know anymore…all I know is, life isn’t fun. The weekend looks completely empty (no sports, no obligations), the kids will probably sleep in and plug in all day, their dad will work and do prep for his courses next week, and I…

I may escape out of the house for a bit and treat myself to lunch. Maybe. Or lock myself into the bedroom and write.

Speaking of writing, I added my recent stories to the writing tab on my website. Click here to see the two newest releases:

Story 1 – The mysterious man from the beach
Story 2 – The challenge – part 1

23 thoughts on “Friday thoughts – struggling

  1. Thanks for sharing. This virtual schooling is going well for my 2 kids in elementary, my grade 9 is also all setup, but I wonder how good some classes are. My gr 12 however still only has 1 class, no teachers are a problem in his virtual learning for grades 11 and 12. With the numbers getting up there it’s so frustrating and I am really hoping I will not have to send him back in November which apparently is the only way according to his school for him to get the class if there still isn’t teachers available. Hopefully,​ this will work out for everyone. Stay safe & well.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Online stay-at-home ends her in January, and all kids will return to brick & mortar school. It has been an adventure, as teachers in brick and mortar will not teach online (even though the district is trying to make them pull double duty with little success), and when the kids return, the district will be WAY,,and I mean WAY…short of teachers. This was really piss poor planning, and Elvis has left the building.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As far as Covid goes, I think we’re all going to have to deal with each situation as it arises. Activities are in full swing here, though, and we recently realised that we didn’t pay for the boys’ gfym memberships last year — so that’s two years worth of subscriptions for three boys we suddenly have to find. It all adds up.

    hang in there. We have to achieve some sort of nrmality sooner or later.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So sorry you’re feeling low Claudette. It feels hard to keep your head above water sometimes doesn’t it?

    It seems crazy that they’re so short of teachers all of a sudden! I’m assuming there was no problem when the kids were all in school pre Covid? Sounds like you’re doing all the right things in terms of getting books for your daughter though. She sounds like a bright girl. I’m sure she’ll bounce back.

    I think you should definitely lock yourself away and do some more writing at the weekend. Not that I’m being selfish but I want to read the next part of your stories. 😆

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hang in there Claudette!!!! This is not an easy time for anyone; especially kids, parents and teachers. The expectations of teachers is so high they can’t keep up with the demands of the administration, school board, parents and the kids are often not online. Many won’t take the job because they can’t keep up with the workload. She has 34 kids in a class and they would have no room for them. They are talking about hybrid classroom and having half come in but they have loaded more students, than their are desks for and then we will have vacation and with the rise in cases during the holidays, it makes no sense. She is an 8th grade science teacher and is working 24 /7 to try to make it interesting for the kids, sustainable for herself and having to grade papers which require subjective thinking, answer emails all day as well. When kids put their screen on and are not participating, it creates a whole host of issues as well. Some even think this is a political and the virus isn’t real making accusatory and inappropriate comments that are blatanly rude. I don’t envy your situation or theirs. It’s a tough time. I like your proactive approach of buying ebooks…Hope you get some respite this weekend and make sure you take good care of you. Sorry about the little critter.. Big hugs and love, ❤️🤗 Cindy

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m sorry Claudette. This school thing can’t be easy and poor planning does seem to be a major part for these older kids who will be transitioning into high school. Our latest plans for schools here have taken a major hit as the numbers of cases rise again. I suspect my daughter is feeling pretty good about choosing her own home school curriculum for the girls at this point. At least they’re getting something consistent. Hang in there.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hola! Hope you are feeling better. The situation with the teachers isn’t too good here either. Some of my friends with school-age kids are switching to the totally online homeschool mode.
    Poor little finch. You are a compassionate person.
    Take care, sending you many good vibes!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I wonder sometimes why we don’t come across more dead critters. There have to be lots of them dying, but where do they go? And do birds ever have heart attacks while flying and fall down and hit people in the head? So many questions…. Anyway, not a particularly cheery comment. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m sorry you’re feeling down. It’s definitely no fun, but certainly understandable given the circumstances. I think you should treat yourself to lunch. In fact, I recommend sushi. Raw fish always makes me feel better.

    If I tended to every dying bird that flew into our living room window, my front yard would be overrun with miniature tombstones.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hope things improve for you soon.

    I don’t know if this will help, but when I feel like this I try to take things day by day, don’t think to far ahead or to far behind.

    Also I make myself go for a walk, even if its the last thing I want to do, as I know it helps. I normally head for the woods and listen to the birds and watch the wildlife.

    Locking myself away is what i want to do, but it seems to make things worse so I avoid it if I can.

    With everything that is going on, it is a struggle. Hopefully things start to improve soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I hope you feel better soon – go do something just for yourself this weekend. That’s crazy re no teacher, although I suppose French teachers would be in shorter supply than others. I read online the other day that they were asking retired teachers and anyone who used to supply teach to get re-instated. I have not heard of any shortages here in my part of Ontario, but I don’t know a lot of people with kids anymore. Are you trying to get her placed back into school instead of remote learning? Here, kids have to wait until specific dates before they can transition back in – I think it was mid-Oct? But everyone might be in lockdown by then.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. She wanted to stay virtual. They assured her she has that choice right up to the day of the deadline to do the switch. Then they pulled the ‘sorry no teachers you can’t stay in French’ excuse. WTF is that? (pardon my swearing)

      There are several dates throughout the school year to do the switch…

      The point is, up until the day before the deadline we are ongoingly reassured that she can stay virtual despite being in French.

      My guess is they did some really poor number crunching. The Kindergarteners starting with French immersion all have teachers…I don’t see why they couldn’t wait a year to start French (start in Grade 1 for instance) and to assign those French teachers to the grade 8s who depend on the French credits to continue on to high school…those grade 8s who have invested 4 years into French education already.

      My kid is sitting around and doesn’t even get English subjects taught (math, science…)


      It’s all very frustrating. The TDSB has screwed things up before but never this bad.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. You hit the nail on the head there, life definitely isn’t much fun right now. Even for people who don’t suffer from depression it’s a struggle. Wish I had some wise words to impart, but I’m pretty much down to hang in there. I’ve found margaritas help if that’s any consolation.

    Liked by 1 person

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