Back to reality after a long(ish) escape

I filled out an online profile for the Ontario government while looking for a job to get me out of the house (or out of my head if the job is work from home).

I have experience in a variety of fields (flight attendant/office/marketing/support/training/technical writing/editing) but not recently – I’ve been home for 15 years tending to children. While at home, I did some editing and proofreading on the side, worked a few contract jobs, but haven’t been employed full-time while the aviation partner was doing his thing, coming and going without rhyme or reason.

Then the kids started competitive sports…

So I started a dog walking business. That was just on the upswing when COVID happened. (Everyone around here is working from home and doesn’t need a dog walker anymore…) 😞

Anyway, the time has come for me to get on with it. I have a project on the go that I’m not ready to unveil just yet, but in the meantime I’m keeping an eye on the job market too.

I figured, why not look into the government job banks?

Well that was my first mistake. πŸ™„

Either they don’t read the profiles that job seekers set up, or they have an algorithm that sucks. Because…I was sent the following as possibilities that appear to match my level of experience (not):

  • Schoolbus driver (?)
  • Office manager in North Toronto (at least an hour and a half’s drive one way…) πŸ˜•
  • Data entry in an office in Ottawa (4 hours drive away from Toronto, one way) 😐
  • Office something or other in Nunavut (a territory in Canada’s Arctic) 😳
  • Registered nurse (um…wtf?)

Sure I can manage an office, but do they not pay attention to location?

I’d rather have a root canal than drive a bus.

And I may have first aid training and kids needing bandaids and kisses, but beyond that? I most certainly am not a nurse, registered or otherwise.

I give up. Governments are ridiculous (but then we already knew that, didn’t we.).

* * *

Yesterday afternoon, my daughter and I returned home from staying with my mom for five days. Before I left her place, I had gone to the grocery store to pick up some food. In the parking lot of the Metro, there was a wasp following me around. Because my car’s a/c isn’t working, I had the windows down, which somehow trapped the stupid wasp in the car as I drove the 3 minutes back to mom’s.

When I pulled into the driveway at mom’s the wasp was on my arm. I shooed it away and it stung me.

Somehow it stayed alive and hovered around the groceries in the trunk so I got fed up and took one of my daughter’s colouring books she had lying on the backseat and chased the stupid insect like a crazy chick until I smushed it against the window.

It was only half dead.

I picked it up with some tissue, wrapped it, and flushed it down the toilet.

Immediately afterwards, I worried about its suffering, and whether or not I would now have nightmares and be haunted for having killed an innocent creature from the animal kingdom.

(Yes, I’m losing it. So shoot me.) πŸ™ƒ

This is what my arm looks like 24 hours later:

The drive home was uneventful.

However…

As soon as we got home, I got a text from mom:

“Your child left her sandals behind.” 😢

Sigh.

So mom is visiting us today to drop off the child’s footware.

* * *
I spent the remaining part of the afternoon shopping with children (shoes, pants, gym ware, undies, socks, toilet paper), did two loads of laundry (all the new clothes the kids bought – will they ever stop growing?) and tidying hall closets on the main floor before having a breakdown. 😭

But the breakdown was short lived – I kicked into gear and now have several large bags of items to donate, and two large ones full of garbage.

Purging is a partial cure for what ails me.

The countdown to my next escape has already begun.

But first, it’s the weekend. I hope everyone has a great one…mine is bound to be full of all sorts of blog-worthy stories, including but not limited to a visit to a beach (while wearing my bikini, natch), and a puppy update (help me).

Happy Friday! See you in the comments.

26 thoughts on “Back to reality after a long(ish) escape

  1. The wasp had it coming.
    Best of luck with the job search. Definitely sounds like your gov website needs an overhaul. I, too, have been stay-at/work-from for 15 years since my first was born.
    Purging stuff is truly therapeutic. I find myself wishing I was moving, so I could do a thorough overhaul.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Searching for jobs can be difficult. Searching for a possible government job is impossible. Yes, they use stringent algorithms that are looking for key words and phrases. Does not matter, What the computer does is pull out the best candidates, then a human hands sorts, narrows it down to three, and then hires their friend.

    Like

  3. I think there’s a wasp nest close to our house. A fair few of the beasites always turn up when we have food outside and the last time we saw them in these sorts of numbers we tracked them down to a nest in the front garden.

    Going out in the dead of night with a big bottle of insect poison was an… interesting.. experience.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yep. That’s why I was out there at night. The stuff we had was quite good though — it was a powder that I had to lay down at the entrance to the nest. Then the wasps would carry it in with them so that it could kill off the entire nest.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Wasps are evil……kill them all. They invaded my siding last August and the exterminator sprayed the entry hole and then all the dead larvae in the siding stunk up my bedroom for 2 months after. Your job recommendations were funny……maybe you could tutor the government on geography?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Looking at your arm that wasp deserved its watery departure. The suggestions from the government are hilarious, although I think they are notorious for promoting from within so perhaps the list sent to you was their idea of a joke, knowing there was no point to actually be realistic…

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I know substitute teacher isn’t glamorous but it does get you out and about and you pick up a few things. Usually, I like it because I do not bring work home until someone discovers I am certified and then oh. why are you not full time…hmm. Then parameters change but the job can be rewarding. I have subbed in the past.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Keep this up, and soon your “escapes” will be to your regular house!

    I would totally move to Nunavut. I like cold and snow. Polar bears are cool. And the social distancing up there rocks, I’m sure.

    There are three things I feel no remorse over killing: mosquitoes, wasps, and ants. If “time” counts, make that four things.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. For some reason, I receive job offers for Speech language pathologist; funeral undertaker or assistant; work from home includes boxing packages. I am not sure they listen to what I am telling them, so I do feel misunderstood so I will stay where I am…substitute teacher is flexible and you may run into some people you can speak easily with about your kids. Who says the computer can interpret well the info you input?

    Liked by 1 person

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