It’s funny (not really) when I consider how deeply rejection affects me on a daily basis.
I know one thing:
I will never get used to rejection.
Now you may think that the type of rejection I’m referring to is relationship related. And certainly, that is a big part of the rejection equation. Haven’t we all dealt with this sort of rejection, either in the past, maybe even now? Relationships are complicated under the best circumstances, but now with COVID it’s even more so.
But there are other forms of rejection that happen regularly that aren’t relationship related. Think jobs, competitive sports teams, creative endeavors (like entering art or writing contests), that sort of thing. And of course the writing industry is a prime example of rejection in itself. (What doesn’t break you makes you stronger…)
There is one other aspect that I’m learning is going to be a continuous element I hadn’t considered until recently: kids.
I don’t know what it is with teenagers, but they are no longer interested in hanging with mom. (Not surprising, really, and completely normal.)
But still, sometimes it hurts, you know?
Every evening for the better part of last week I went for a bike ride. My son has a great bike, and he likes riding it. We used to go, me and the kids, semi-regularly, and my daughter still likes to join me some of the times now, but my son hasn’t accepted my invitation pretty much since lock-down started.
I know, I know, he’s a 15yo boy…
I get it, but I still feel sad. I don’t like rejections…
Then there’s the tech side of rejection.
The other day, I noticed that a friend in a chat app disappeared. When I tried to send a message to see what’s up, the entire profile was gone. The name, the number, everything.
I had no idea what happened but made assumptions that were, as I found out later, incorrect.
Making assumptions is detrimental to one’s mental health. It is crucial that we keep a level head and base our decisions on facts. It’s the assumptions that lead to actions that may end up causing more grief and confusion which really doesn’t help someone’s state of mind during these volatile times. Especially because tech has become such an important part in our lives. More so than it was before.
Which brings me back to rejection. When something happens via tech, we make assumptions and take it personally. Say if a number disappears, or someone blocks you and you don’t understand why (which I haven’t experienced myself but a good friend of mine has and it almost broke her).
I have come to realize that dealing with rejection on the tech level adds a whole new layer to rejection.
I realize that people who do online dating go through a whole slew of other issues, including ghosting and other newly-coined tech-related terms.
My personal experience with online rejection has to do with the writing industry, and although I have received many rejections, most of them have included a supportive note explaining why it wasn’t suitable for their publication at that time.
I’m trying to get used to rejection, all across the many layers, but it’s hard.
Tell me, how do you deal with all the constant rejection all around you? Does it get easier? Share your experiences, and tips. I really would love to know more.