Pandemic stripclub protocols

So strip- and nightclubs are opening up again in Toronto.



This came up in a news feed while I was procrastinating, taking a bit of a writing break. Given my state of mental health at the moment (BLAH with capital letters) I thought I’d give it a read-through to see what’s new. Let’s see…

They say the dancers (strippers) have to remain on the stage and can’t descend onto customers’ laps unless the customer is from within the dancer’s household.

Okay then. 😢

Also the strippers will wear masks. 😷

So will customers unless they’re eating and drinking…I suspect drinking is a thing in strip joints, but eating? I guess it is, technically, a bar, which serves food, but then what do I know, I don’t frequent strip joints myself… πŸ™ƒ

There are the usual maximum patrons limits which I won’t bother listing here because a) it keeps changing, b) no one seems to reinforce the rules anyway, and c) I don’t care.

Guests, as they’re called, have to remain seated, even if a certain tune comes on the loudspeaker and they want to get up and boogie to it. (Do ‘guests’ do this in strip joints? I thought they were there to watch the girl dance?) ❗❓

But here’s the interesting thing:

“…business owners are required to keep customer logs with personal information to enable contact tracing.” πŸ‘€

Yeah, that log is gonna be accurate. πŸ˜‚

As I scroll down on the article, I see a few noteworthy notes: some places do allow lap dances but both dancer and customer are required to wear masks for the duration. Although I think it says something of customers having to be from within the stripper’s household and/or bubble…which makes sense, technically, to keep everyone safe.

But…it kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it, if the boyfriend/husband gets the lap dance and slips her the bills instead of a random customer with spare cash stuffed into his pockets? πŸ€”

Don’t ask me to explain, I am not familiar with these things…πŸ˜›

And then…I saw this:

House of Lancaster posted an ad because they are so busy, they’re actually hiring. πŸ˜‰

This whole pandemic has caused some perplexing disruptions in all sorts of industries, including the sexy nightlife one.

Anyway, reading and writing about this killed an hour and reinforced that I really don’t like writing fiction, I’m not good at it, I hate writing and I quit, so tomorrow I’m going to apply for a job as a cashier and be done with it.

Good riddance. πŸ™„

Happy it’s almost over hump day. See you in the comments.

43 thoughts on “Pandemic stripclub protocols

  1. I was involved in an online focus group that was attempting to gauge which of the upcoming film releases that were pushed back due to Covid-19 I would risk going back to the theaters for in the next month or so, providing the theater enforced mask-wearing, social distance seating and properly cleaned the theater between each showtime and I was in the minority because as much as I love cinema, there isn’t a movie I’d put my health at risk for. Visiting a strip joint when we don’t even have a readily available vaccine and the biggest contamination precaution is simply wearing a mask? That’s an absolute no-go for me. I’ll put my singles to better use.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I wonder how many ways one can spell “John Smith.” They’ll have a room full of Johns, Jons, Johnnys, and Juans in it. Fun post. You should go to the women’s version of a strip club and then blog about it. Or both the male and female strip clubs and do a comparison blog. That might be fun too. Mona

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Strip clubs are the thing I miss most about Portland. We have one out here, in a suburb, but I haven’t been. I do think a stripper wearing nothing but a face mask and high heels would be pretty sexy, come to think of it…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve been well and truly hooked to your blog for lol a long time now simply because whatever the topic it’ll always be a fun read, whether that be bra shopping at VS shewees or doggy tales!

    Claudette lol let me try and answer your questions (it’s a few years ago now), I’ve not visited a strip-club per-say but I have visited a table dancing club. A Guy sits in single booth with a small table to one side (dimmed lighting), somewhere to place the drink, girls (over 18) circulate the club chatting to male guests, getting drinks for them, just know these young women are bubbly personable and outgoing, oozing feminine charms who’ll soon have a guy wrapped around their little fingers, lovely intelligent young women and definitely not tarts! They’ll mingle and chat wearing long (classy) dresses with plunging cleavages, then a guy might ask one for a naked dance in front of him, they’ll agree a price then the lovely lady will (slowly) strip naked and dance in front of him (the guy keeps tipping)…….. only ONE rule, there’s no NO touching, she’ll be as raunchy and close as she likes with the guy’s (hands firmly) on both knees he’ll sit and watch her jiggling tits ass,, she’ll bend over show her pussy etc in his direction There’ll be two types of guests, young lads there for the laugh also married men. The one I’ve been to had a bar to one side where girls not working would stand and chat among themselves, oh and those movies where women are dancing on the bar is all Hollywood………. there was no food no ‘boogieing’, we sat relaxed and talked to the girls walking round, drinking overpriced drinks! Some men asked for a dance and THEN she’s got him hooked (we just watched, enjoyed the banter/novelty/atmosphere)…….. nothing seedy, no sluts, these working girls are intelligent college graduates, unemployed girls and single mum’s just trying to earn a wage to pay the bills like the rest of us………….. oh and good luck with the customer log, one thing’s guaranteed these middle aged guy’s wives are oblivious. (Btw having nursed I’d guess you have the tits for it but lol you might be a little too……. πŸ˜€ x )

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I have been invited to go to a male strip club in a Toronto suburb when I was a flight attendant (after a party) but I was with a bi-sexual man and some other friends and meh. I wasn’t into it (I was 25ish or so, a flight attendant).

        Also in Brighton (England) where I spent much of my time as a flight attendant in the summer, we stayed at the Metropole Hotel and many of my friends and colleagues, especially the gay men, were constantly going on about the strip clubs.

        Can’t share any stories because I didn’t go. I also have not been to the female version. πŸ˜‰

        I have been to some underground bars with rooms in the back…not my scene.

        Only other place that we could have maybe gone was in Amsterdam at the Red Light district. But it was 10 am and we had to be back at the airport at 4 pm…and we were exhausted. We did pass a toy shop and some ‘windows’ of ‘sex workers’ posing… but that’s about the extent of it.

        Sorry, no other gossip I can share. πŸ™‚

        PS woman over 40 often get underestimated…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Amuses me that gay men are drawn to flight attending as an occupation? I don’t think I’ve missed out not visiting a strip club, never appealed to me and I’d guess they’re maybe a little tacky (each to their own). Years ago I was at a friend’s stag night (he’s a christian preacher now) and a policewoman knocked at the door (a cliche but true), she proceeded to take her clothes off in the living room then individually sat on each of us guys laps, one of my fondest memories her drinking wine with us all, the lady was lovely and the evening was fabulous and fun. A colleague of mine booked a stripper to a private football club party, the evening ended with the girl having full…………… on the dance floor in front of them, probably lol not the kinda girl to take back home and introduce to your mother! A fun posting Claudette πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I follow a blogger who is a stripper, but she hasn’t been able to work. She also hasn’t blogged in a while. That’s the worst part.
    It seems like rules were made to be broken.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Chica, you are a wonderful writer! You have taken this topic and make it funny and entertaining. Writing a blog like yous, and you are so punctual, is a great practice.
    Do you share your fiction work?

    Liked by 1 person

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