Will nature calm disquietude and restlessness?

I waver back and forth between a house in the country (mainly his wish, and my daughter’s) and a small minimalist (aka empty and void of all nonessential clutter) place in/near the city with access to this, that and the other*.

What is the answer?

The house with property appealed to me once. It was during a time when young, energetic children would have benefited most (and by default, so would I have). They would still benefit now, especially my daughter, but it’s a different dynamic, living with teens. Not sure a major disruption is conductive to anybody’s mental health right now.

Staying in this house certainly isn’t, either. I have had a like-sometimes/hate-most-of-the-time relationship with this place since day 1. (Hindsight is a beautiful thing.)

Walking around our house right now increases my anxiety levels to high alert, especially since the Stay At Home protocols and this endlessness that is the Covid Pandemic has begun; there is so much to sort through and organize, so much to repair and pretty up if we were to sell.

It may happen. But do I want such a drastic change? And more importantly, will this help my current state of restlessness and disquietude?

We took a drive yesterday to a town just north of west Toronto and discovered a little gem. There is one house for sale up there…we drove past it. Twice.

Nearby, there is a park with a trail, bordering a wildlife reserve. There is also a nice golf course, and an equestrian place. The downtown core has a small town feel to it, and yet the big box stores no one seems to be able to live without these days is just a 20 min drive to Bolton (south) or Orangeville (west).

This is what the trail looked like when we walked along it.


The change in the family was phenomenal. Him, in particular, and the kids also. I was more guarded…but I did enjoy the scenery.

I wonder, would a move to a place where there is more space, and tranquility, allow me more freedom and peace?

I just don’t know what the answer is.

*Not to be confused with the Seinfeld episode where Jerry and Elaine strive for a FWB situation that includes this, that and the other. ๐Ÿ˜Ž

28 thoughts on “Will nature calm disquietude and restlessness?

  1. I absolutely understand your dilemma…which, it seems, is shared by many others, including me. My ‘solution’, I think, would be to rent somewhere in the countryside for maybe 3-6 months and try it out…(tho I recognise that’s difficult with kids)..but I’ve been a city girl all my life and I think no cinema, theatre etc. and having to drive to pick up a pint of milk would grate after a while…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for this comment! Up until the pandemic I thought everything is too complicated but the pandemic changed so much. Work, school, everything is online…and could be for a long while.

      We’re keeping our options open. ๐Ÿ™‚


  2. I think to be healthy your body needs a mix of sun, sand, country and city. The most important place is feeling comfortable with yourself and your husband or the situation you are in.
    Most of us can survive nicely anywhere as long as we like the people around us and feel comfortable with ourselves.There is something to be said for each place.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t know what the answer is for you, as I just left a man I love dearly because he wants to move further out into the middle of nowhere and I want to move closer to the city. One of us was going to be miserable. At least he has gotten the opportunity to be a dad to his youngest now that I’m not there being a bitch about everything, and for that I’m glad because that kid needs a dad

    Liked by 2 people

  4. The scenery is definitely beautiful there but I totally get your dilemma. I have the same conflicting thoughts between country house or city pad. On the plus side the country house would have plenty of space for a she shed. ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Liked by 2 people

  5. “The Deal” is one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes. I was a huge fan and miss the show like crazy!

    I would love a house in the country. In fact, Tara and I talk about that all the time, and are forever paying attention to little houses tucked away in remote areas of the Black Hills. I’m not ready for that at this stage in my life…I like the proximity to Rapid City and all the amenities…but someday, when I’m old and frail, I dream of looking out my picture window at the ponderosa pines covered in snow, content that there is nowhere else I need to be.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Letโ€™s play a fun game. โ˜บ๏ธOver the next few days- lets say three days-listen out on the radio and TV for references to home (particularly a country or city home.) Iโ€™ll bet you a million bucks (okay, thatโ€™s not true-I have no money but…๐Ÿ˜‚)youโ€™ll get the signs you need and youโ€™ll have your answer. Double bet ya. ๐Ÿ˜‰โ˜บ๏ธ๐ŸŒณ xx

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I wonder if your kids would really like being out of the big city, I’m assuming they would miss their friends and have to change schools etc. While it looks lovely and might seem peaceful for a walk in the country, the day by day have to drive everywhere might get to be a pain after awhile, depending on how rural and isolated it is? I know at my (older) age I’m thinking I might want to be in a city again, with everything close by and public transit if I need it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This is one of the dilemmas. I keep bring up cars…we have 2, parked one during covidsince we’re not going anywhere (less insurance to pay), and it certainly has benefitted the bank account. As we drive thru the country we see every single house has a minimum of 3 cars, one of which is a truck usually…

      Not to mention other driving equipment. Lawn mowers, ATVs…

      It weighs on me. I wonder often if the others think long term. My son will be 16 in less than a year…legal driving age.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. For 25 years, Ilived in a tiny house in the city. In that time, the neighborhood improved dramatically, until it was that stellar kind of an ‘out for coffee’ and a perfect produce store just steps away, kind of place. The marriage wasn’t so lovely though, and I fled, and rented a farmhouse on a chicken farm, far from anywhere. I needed the space to sort out the failures in my life. The return to rural brought back the best parts of my childhood and I vowed not to ever again be a city-dweller. I have since relocated to Michigan, to 50 acres and innumerable building projects. It suits me, and my new(ish) partner. Rural living is no cure for a restless mind, but it can keep it busy, and hopefully satisfied. A walk in the woods can cure a great many ills.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I wish I had a crystal ball and knew 20 years ago what I know today. It would have saved me a lot of trouble now. At one time, I had a 1,200 ft. house for an art studio near my parents, our 2,800 ft. two-story in suburbia and a rent house that was about another 1,200 square feet (in a rural and secluded area) because my son worked 3 hours away. (He has autism, so I stayed with him during the week, then we came home on the weekends. We did this for 2 years.) There was a lot of traveling and a lot of cleaning. Each place had their special perks. However, they all needed to be maintained and cared for. I did most of the cleaning and traveling during that period of time. We decided that my son’s job was too far away. I also gave up the art studio. Now I’m exhausted. I don’t want to ever have to move again and I would like to unload so much stuff that is mostly memory clutter at this point. You are smart to not over clutter. As to where you stay or where you go? Go or stay where you feel most peaceful but make sure you have access to those places you need to visit like the doctor and dentist, etc. Most everything can be had online as well, even some doctor’s appointments. So that’s something to consider, too. Best wishes on whatever you decide. Mona

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Mona for sharing this. Life choices, especially as we get older, don’t seem simpler despite an accumulation of life experiences…

      We are not rushing any decisions although some of us are more restless than others. ๐Ÿ™‚

      First step: start to declutter (again). ๐Ÿ™„

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m unsure if I truly believe there ever really is an ideal. Life evolves and what seems perfect now, or for the next few years may not be so long term. Our society is so much more fluid than when I was a kid, or even a new adult raising a family. In my newish single life, and definite aging life, I’m trying really hard not to think long term about where I “should” be because who knows what I may need or want this time next year… or how many times I’ll change my mind!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes. I understand this. Part of me wants to live more in the present tense, another part of me is fed up with all the stupid struggles inside this crammed, tiny house… ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like you say, life is continually evolving.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Believe it or not, as Cupcake and I approach our golden years, we have the same dilemma. A place in the country with lots of privacy, or a small place in the city where everything is so available we do not even need a car. We just came from a friend of ours place right across the bridge. He and his wife have opted for the beach life…a small efficiency (less than 400 sqft), but 20 yards to the beach, big pool, and typical beach eateries/bars (think Jimmy Buffet on this one) all up and down within walking distance. They even got rid of their car as the beach tram is free. It was fun for today, but how long would that last before we felt too…condensed and restricted? If we got ten acres and a shed, how long before we felt isolated and separated?

    Well, we got a couple more years to figure it out, and just maybe, it will figure itself out, saving us the trouble.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you for sharing this. I appreciate the insights from a different perspective (kids already out)…there are issues impacting my/our decision that I am not sharing here (privacy). But I try to keep an eye on things he may not see at this point. Work with a potential commute once corona dissipates, a back injury that flares up regularly, kids who may or may not adjust to a major disruption…

      It’s a lot.

      Staying poses its own issues…noisy and rude neighbours, expensive, etc…

      I’m sure my dilemma will continue to play a role in this blog. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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