When I woke up this morning I was startled and confused. I had the most absurd, ridiculous, dream.

In my dream, my partner had bought a house with a lot of property.

In real life, this has been a thing we’ve been arguing talking about for a number of years now. Back when the kids were little, I would not have minded moving out of the city. Now? I’m not keen.

He is though. More so than ever before.

We are not on the same page when it comes to the topic of where, or how to live.

Given the corona pandemic, none of it is of any importance now. We’re locked down and going to be for a while. So there’s that.

But what about the dream then? Why would I dream that we have a new house?

Perhaps the recent phone call from the bank that our mortgage is up for renewal had my subconscious dig deep into all my worries about moving or not moving…

What is apparent is that my brain does what my brain wants. When my brain dreams, my dreams end up baffling, perplexing and convoluted.

Welcome to the inside of my head. You’re welcome. 😳

So in last night’s dream we went to the house he bought (without my input, or consent).

I have several after-thoughts and observations.

First of all, this new house was located across the street from an entertainment district. There was a Ripley’s wax museum forgodsake…(I had recently been in Niagara Falls where such a street exists).

See how my subconscious works? Weird.

The front door of the new house entered a lobby of sorts but it didn’t resemble one of a hotel. It was just a big room with a few lounge chairs spaced without rhyme or reason. And an end table with some books and magazines stacked on it.

Reminded me more of a waiting room than a residential entrance way. Plus the brown, fake paneling was reminiscent of 1970s basement rec rooms.

(Here my subconscious is at work again. I had recently seen a picture of such a basement rec room, and I spent my teen years watching tv in such a room as well…recent conversations with my parents about moving the tv out of their rec room into an upstairs room must have been tugging at my subconscious.)

Back in my dream, I noticed there was no hall to separate the rest of the house. Only some odd walls placed here and there…

It’s hard to explain.

The house itself was a weird shape. Long, like the street. And parallel to the street.

The first room we saw was the master bedroom.

The bedroom had no door. No walls either. It was open on two sides, like an L-shape. Plus, it faced the street.

What the…? I mean, he complains about noisy neighbours now in our high density metro neighbourhood, why would he pick a house on such a busy, noisy street? With the bedroom window looking directly at the Ripley’s? 😐

There was a wing down from the weird lobby with at least one more bedroom. I could see the door was slightly ajar of the first bedroom.

But.

We couldn’t go look at it because the previous owners’ grandma and grandpa were hiding in it. They refused to vacate when we, the new owners, arrived.

I could see the flowery dress of the grandma, and her nylon-stockinged legs…

(I don’t know…) 😐

The kids weren’t with us so we simply ignored that room and whatever other room there may have been past there. I guess ensuring each kid had their own room wasn’t a big consideration when he picked this house. (Don’t ask me…) 🙄

The kitchen was toward the back and left of the rooms/non-rooms. It was enormous. And rather peculiar.

Each appliance was an individual piece not attached to a counter. There was, in fact, no counter to speak of. 😶

There were many appliances. Stoves and ranges and microwaves and fridges. All in separate locations arranged in a semi-circle.

In addition, the appliances were old-fashioned, like pre-1950s, and emerald green. 😶😶

(What in the actual eff was he thinking buying this house without my consent?)

There was a huge patio off the kitchen and a pond where normal people would have put a pool.

A pond. Which went right up to the deck. 😶😶😶

He said lets check it out.

He waded in, with shoes on (?) and motioned for me to follow.

Note: I never actually saw him in the dream. He was always just outside my line of vision. But it was him…

(I think…)

So, I waded into the pond and….stepped on hand-sized clam shells.

The pond was covered in these shells. Completely covered. I could hear, and feel them crunching under my wet shoes.

I was informed by a voice which must have been his that every weekend the previous owners packed five clams into a cardboard box and sold it for five bucks to the tourists on the beach up the road.

I wondered why they would want to do such a thing. Is this what we’re expected to do now? 😶😶😶😶

Also, tourists? Beach? Isn’t that noise-producing?

(Here again is a credit to my anxiety over how we’ll survive this lockdown in our high density neighbourhood heading into the summer months. What will happen? Most of the neighbours are decent, protocol-following peeps but as is prevalent everywhere, there are assholes and covidiots nearby…Music-blaring, obnoxious covidits…)

Sigh.

The property behind the house spanned for miles and miles. There was a lake behind the pond, some barns and sheds, a bunch of equipment to work the fields and gardens and…

I looked around and all I could see was work. Who would tend the farm-like fields? Who would fix the roof on the barn? What kind of junk would I find in the shed?

I woke up stressed.

Frankly, I wouldn’t put it past him to go looking for some property in a hamlet after lock-down has ceased. I suspect his desire to move is even stronger now, but with everything being so uncertain, I am not really eager to add another disruption to our current lifestyle.

I know he’s looking, he sends me links of properties he likes…

I suspect my subconscious is working through the uncertainties of our times. It may have been incited by that phone call about our mortgage, which is another whole stupid thing. They’re quoting us a percentage point above our current rate…really? The economy is in the toilet and they want to increase their long-term, 20-years long loyal customers’ rates by a whole percentage point?

He’s looking elsewhere. There are some banks offering much better rates. Tell the current back to shove it and move on to someplace else.

Throughout the dream, I could feel myself shaking my head and rolling my eyes. It’s almost like deja-vu. I have been through something similar with this house…but I have so much more experience now and honestly, I doubt we would make the same mistakes twice. Which doesn’t mean we’re going to be looking for a new house anytime soon. I’m not convinced this is a good idea currently…

But that house in my dream. I am still, many hours later, able to retrieve very vivid images.

I just hope this isn’t a premonition of things to come.