Disclaimer: this is an attempt at some silly humour. If you’re [still] a snowflake and can’t take my attempt of describing a slice of life in a locked-down, metropolitan π¨π¦ family, best piss off before leaving a passive aggressive comment. Sorry not sorry.
* * *
The apocalyptic stash of Pringles is now officially gone.
I bought three cans and a few bags of chips before this all happened, and the boys have been out twice for supplies since we sequestered ourselves in our home in IDK, 14, 15 days now.
The chips are gone. All of them. πΆ
I find myself facing a dilemma. It appears I no longer have a choice here.
I’m going to lock my teenager in the shed. π
Except, that idea, enticing as it may be, is not foolproof either. There are a fridge and a freezer in the shed.
(It’s a nice shed with walls and a solid roof and electricity. We renovated it a few years ago. When this house was built in 1949, the shed used to function as a garage. The cars were much smaller back then…)
Once I throw my kid into the shed among the bikes, baseball gear, tools and gardening equipment, he’ll no doubt begin his search for the next thing to eat.
I doubt he’ll choose the frozen food without at least thawing it out first (maybe not the moose steaks, just the frozen pizzas). I’m not too worried. He doesn’t have the patience to wait for frozen food to thaw and it’s not warm enough up here yet to let the sun do it. (There is no sun today anyway. Only rain and gloom.)
He’ll definitely not eat the raw eggs from the fridge, either (will he?). π³
But.
He won’t stop searching. When it comes to food, this kid, like many/most teen boys, are a creative, ingenious bunch.
They will find a way. π
Must be a neurological thing or something…
So I picture him standing there analyzing his choices. The homemade broths I store in the freezer may temporarily satisfy the salt craving, but unless he chews the ice cubes he won’t get much crunch. (I freeze my broth in ice cube trays and store them in plastic zip bags.)
He may nibble some frozen pizza before deciding that it may not be quite up to par of his adolescent taste buds.
He might consider cracking some raw eggs into an empty container (which he’ll find in all the accumulated clutter in there) and mix them with the last carton of milk from the fridge but I don’t think he’ll consider that as an option since in his desperation to satisfy the salt craving, he won’t want to put that much work into his future nosh without the promise of salty crunch.
There is one final possibility, though.
He may, quite possibly, get distressed bored hungry enough to taste his first, and then drink all of his dad’s, beer.
ππΊπ»π
I see you, fellow teen-raising pandemic-enduring peeps. I feel you. π
Hang in there. π·
Of all the challenges my teens face from the pandemic, snack scarcity is the one that will unhinge them. Had I known this when I was stocking up on toilet paper, I might still feel safe within my own home.π€£
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This made me laugh and cry at the same time. Unhinge is what is happening to this boy of mine now, and I’m just about to hit publish on that post (and in about an hour have second thoughts and delete the whole thing again).
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Ok, I’m glad to see you’re coping with this using the best medicine of all–humorπ
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I made my teenager learn where the cereal and milk are. If we run out of either, HE’S the one that NEEDS to go to the store. We’re doing ok so far.
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π
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Seriously though, I’ve been thinking I might grow vegetables in my garden (my mother couldn’t stop laughing!) Anyways with the extra garden might your teen have hidden green fingers?
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…β¦β¦ last word, did I miss the bra photos? π
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Nope. Sorry not sorry. π
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β¦β¦β¦ haha worth a try π
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We have too much hungry wildlife. In addition to teenagers.
But I’ll try some veg gardening again this year.
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I think there’s gonna be shortages of fresh food this summer…β¦ I’m seriously considering it, could even blog about it?
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I foresee a need for veg plots too.
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π I’m all for silly humour and lol you nailed it quite well, you’re a talented blogger Claudette and not everyone is (me π included!!!)
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Ha. I aim to entertain. π
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I’m so glad to hear your shed has electricity. Next time I visit Canada, I’ll just hole up in there. Cheaper than an AirBnB! Or…maybe you’ll find me so winsome you’ll actually let me stay in your house. Don’t worry: I’m not a fan of Pringles.
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Depending how long this thing will run you may have to climb over some bodies…lol (not funny). π·π³π
You’re welcome in the house especially since both Pringles and beer are safe from you. π
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Unless you’ve got some sours!
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I don’t know what he’s got stashed in that fridge…
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Probably pasta.
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Lol
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Hereβs another idea: teach teenage son how to cook. From planning stage, to shopping, to preparing food … clean up, etc. Discuss budget, time-lines. Talk to him like heβs a young adult. Iβd suggest one night a week. Dinnerβs on this young man. Supervise at a distance. Heβll get it. Repeat daily, if necessary. Another scenario, could be he breaks out of the converted shed, does something not-so-nice … and, well, his mother wakes up in the freezer. Saw it once in a movie. π
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I have done this exact thing. For years. With mixed results.
I would be happy to entertain you on that experience upon request. ππ
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It worked for my sons. Though cleaning up is still a challenge. Also, neither of their parents ended up in a freezer next to moose steaks.
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Your sons are normal then.
Note: my daughter is younger and not only equipped/capable to bake, she can cook to feed a family. She’s over a foot shorter than her brother and almost three years younger. She is also well aware that her brother will inherit all the physical stuff, whereas she will inherit him. π
The boy’s trouble isn’t inability, it’s laziness. His words, but I am not disputing. π
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Laziness is energy corrupted. Itβs fixable.
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Like I said before, I’ll pack him into an Uber off to the Kuch household. Don’t send him back till he’s fixed. Most of the hockey happens up your way anyway (when it comes back)… π
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By fixed, you donβt mean neutered? Iβm almost sure thatβs what you meant. We donβt provide that kind of fixing. Ascension into adult responsibility – literate, functional, productive – is what I do. I train millennials for a career. Teach them everything their parents failed to do. Then I go and fix the parents. By fixing, I mean really fixing. Itβs a fun side hustle.
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Well one kid turned out ok…
Go head and fix me then. π
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You don’t want to leave a teenager alone with his dad’s booze supply.
Having been both a teenager and a dad, I can assure you that this never ends well π
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Right. ππ
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I canβt live without chips…
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No Pringleβs?! Devastating. I cannot imagine feeding hungry teens through this. I am very concerned for you ππ
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As you should be. π
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π made me laugh
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