Looking forward to a New Year, but first, a preamble*

*because I’m wordy like that. 😉

This morning, I was all alone in a house that is not my own.

Well, not really alone. The teenager was asleep upstairs, and there were some washing machine installer guys in the back part of the house. And my BIL was in and out doing stuff. He’s building another house down the street but he came back to supervise the installers.

“Where’s the teen?” he wanted to know. It was past 11 am.

“He took my spot in the bed when I went to take a shower,” I responded.

BIL, who at one time was a teenager himself, just chuckled to himself as he went about his business.

The girl child, her dad and his sister took the two Shepherds, Patton and Winston, for a walk. I opted out. So for me, it was like being alone. No one was bugging me. 🙂

Earlier the girl child went to get something from the car. The dogs acted like their girlfriend was abandoning them. 😊 This is where they stood anticipating her return.

The plan today is to visit another house on some acreage my BIL and SIL bought. They’re going to renovate the house and move there. I anticipate this to start the usual lines of conversation about moving and country living and city gridlock taking its toll…We live in the city. They used to live in the city. Now they found their happy place and want the same for everyone they know. 🙂

We are on the threshold of a new decade. Although I don’t typically make resolutions, I do like the idea of taking hold of the turning point that is my life and looking forward. What will the New Year bring to me? What will happen?

I’m declaring the year 2020 to be one of possibility, creativity and change. However, in order to do that, I had to revisit some past reflections I documented in this blog. The one mantra I want to hold on to is this one:

Your discomfort will not inhibit my creativity.

I have repeated this here and now because I need to see, and hear, and feel the message. The only way I can become the person I strive to be is by letting go my baggage, pushing past the fear, and treating myself the way I want, and deserve, to be treated.

If I don’t treat myself right, how can I expect others to know how?

I am not invisible and I matter.

This won’t be easy but I’ve already laid the groundwork over the past year or so.

One thing though:

I will have to learn how to do this with patience, finesse and grace.

I’m finally in a head-space where I think I’m able to do just that.

May as well begin now. Because…if not now, when?