blogging, fun, midlife

Attainable and unattainable life goals

Do you write resolutions for the New Year? Or do you have a bucket list?

I don’t have either. I don’t typically set goals or plan things beyond the immediate short-term requirements.

But I’ve been thinking about it.

Must be the midlife crisis thing I’m going through. Either that or I’m old and tired and wondering  what it is I really want to do with the rest of my life.

Certainly not laundry. 😭

So. Today, while doing laundry, and cooking soup, and not writing my book, I was thinking about this whole resolution/bucket list thing.

What do I want to do, accomplish, see, achieve, work toward?

Well I have some wishes that will probably not be fulfilled. Some of those wishes are private and not meant for the internet to pick apart, but others, I don’t mind sharing those.

Here goes:

Unattainable Bucket List

I have always wanted to visit places that are no longer considered tourist attractions, like Syria, and especially the city of Damascus. I love the food from that part of the world, not to mention the rich history, art and architecture that is likely mostly lost or destroyed now. Parts of Morocco appeals to me as well. I’m so very curious about these places.

Another thing that has always held some mystique and intrigue is a nude beach. Ha. (Surprise!) I am unsure if this will happen, although it could have at one point. Back before kids, we went to St. Martin/St. Maarten for a mini-vacation, and they have a nude beach on the French side that we drove past and briefly contemplated checking out. (We didn’t.) I wonder though if it’s something that’s actually enjoyable – beaches have sand, and women’s bodies have, you know, crevices everywhere… (lordy). Anyway. THAT will probably not happen either. Maybe instead, I’ll just go skinny dipping in a pool one day. 😉

Attainable Bucket List:

Travel
  • visit Switzerland and introduce the kids to the family there (done 2019)
  • visit Rome and meet up with my aunt there (been once when I was a child and not since)
  • visit Sicily with or without the family (if I’m really honest here, I’d love to go there for a month or two, sit in a Villa (like my cabin I wrote about) and write. Bonus, my dad’s side of the family comes from there although I do not believe anyone we know still lives there…)
  • eat olives in Sicily
  • squeeze fresh lemon from lemon trees in Sicily onto Sicilian food cooked by a local villager (not some fancy chef)
  • go back to Boston (I have been twice in the 90s)
  • go back to New York (I have been once, in the mid 90s) but at Christmas time
  • visit at least one place in the Deep South of the USA (New Orleans? Sarasota?)
  • take the kids to Vancouver to visit my siblings (I have been a few times, they haven’t)
  • visit Canada’s Maritimes
  • take the kids to Paris (I went a few times as a flight attendant, in the 90s)
  • visit the Louvre (I have been to the Louvre once in the 90s, but I would love to take the kids there, especially my daughter who has a keen interest in art)
  • go back to Brighton (London) and show the kids where I spent my summers during my stint as a flight attendant
Writing
  • get published in a variety of places
  • complete the Memoir
  • complete the Music Lovers anthology
  • work toward obtaining or building a She Shed (or let’s move out of this house and get me one with a home office)
Other things
  • play with hair extensions (I’m just curious what it would feel like to have longer hair)
  • get a tattoo (without fighting the family which is wishful thinking)
  • read War and Peace (just to say I did it)
  • expand my boots collection (I own exactly 3 pairs)

In theory, some of those items could be achieved in the next decade or less. Especially the writing part of it – I could target 2020 to be the year of publishing. Do my part even if it doesn’t come to fruition. I mean, a rejection letter is tangible proof that I worked toward it, right? Did my part, just haven’t found the right venue.

Anyway, I will give it some more thought. My private list is quite lengthy, so I got some work to do. 🙂

Tell me, do you keep such lists? Do they work? What is on your list? And do you have any tips or insights to share with the rest of us?

 

25 thoughts on “Attainable and unattainable life goals”

  1. My attainable list (mostly travel) is set to go effective during my second life, which is what I refer to as the time post-kids. I would also like a tiny house and moped in a place where snow doesn’t exist. Haven’t thought to much about how I’ll make a living at time, but I’d rather wrok part time at whatever it is I fall into.

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  2. The boots sounds attainable. Everything else, work and work and go, go, go.
    I have a secret wish to see parts of Latin America and a trip on a safari but then again, I need to replenish my bras and underwear which is attainable easily. We shall see.

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  3. I don’t put a whole lot of thought into resolutions and bucket lists—certainly nothing formal, though I usually have goals floating around in my head, e.g., finish editing & publish my follow-up novel in 2020. Just a general sense of things I’d like to accomplish but won’t beat myself up over if I don’t.

    I’d do the nude beach thing too, though the nude dining/Yelp review the other commenter mentioned would be a bit much for me personally. But I like her attitude!

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  4. In January or February I attended a writing connect and we wrote ourselves a letter with our writing goals for the year. They were collected and I forgot about it – until this week when an envelope with my own handwriting arrived.

    The organizers mailed them to us last week and I received mine when I returned home Wednesday night. I had 4 goals. 3 were quantifiable and one was a bit more general. I did well on 3 of them, I even exceeded one of the goals. On the fourth goal, I didn’t do as well. This is helping me frame my 2020 plan.

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      1. Thanks! It was fun when we did it because my critique group (a different smaller group) had just discussed setting goals and how they need to be quantified and attainable. We talked about the importance of setting the goals that were within our control rather than the big goal. Example – saying you want to have a bestseller isn’t a goal that you have control over. Saying things you’ll do each quarter month to reach that goal is the key.

        It was also fun to see it because I had pretty much forgotten we did this exercise and now that the end of year is here, I’m focusing on hitting 2020 hard.

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      2. My partner teaches Safety Management Systems for airlines or aviation departments and they talk about this in his college classroom too. For instance, one thing he said was it’s all fine and dandy to want to be the ‘safest airline in the world’ but what do you have to do to make this happen? Like the bestseller example (safest airline)…there are components and procedures and implementations that are required to get there, to just wish you are safest isn’t enough.

        Thank you for this contribution, this is wonderful!

        Like

  5. I quit making resolutions years ago when I realised that I never keep them. I still make changes though – I just do it in a more manageable way for me and view it differently. I don’t have a bucket list either but I have often thought about writing one. There are so many things I’d like to do and places I’d love to see.

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    1. I am not a resolution person. At all. I find the practice pointless as most people will get sucked into the daily routine and not focus back on their original plans. However, I have a friend who plans AND follows her goals so there are people who do do this, successfully. I am not one of them. 🙂

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  7. I haven’t committed to a proper Bucket List. Probably would, but I figure its too close to death, so I’m passing on one for now. Maybe when I’m 97 or 104.

    I set goals constantly. Do all the right things: writing, measuring, tracking, evaluating.

    Amazing how a few written words and enough conviction can change one’s life.

    My goals have been anything from writing (completing a manuscript), finances, health … everyday life things.

    I abhor New Year’s Resolutions. Refuse to do it.

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