Stupid things I have done I am not proud of

At the grocery store one time, I picked up an item and put it in the cart. At the next aisle, I changed my mind about the item and put it on the shelf in the wrong aisle where it does not belong. So if you see a jar of Nutella among the olive oil bottles, you’ll know it was me who shopped there earlier.

When the change room lady gives you the plastic tag thingy with a number on it indicating how many articles of clothing you want to try on, normal people make a mental note to remember to return it. One time I forgot it in the changeroom. If the changeroom lady hadn’t barked at me so rudely for having made an honest mistake, I would have gone back to get it. But the derogatory tone of her voice pissed me off so I ignored her. When she called me back to tell her which room I had been in I ignored her more and left the store. I was particularily happy about the fact that this was a large store and had at least 30 stalls in it. 😏

When sales people, religious solicitors or political reps come to my door, I typically tell them politely that we are not interested in anything they have to say and gently close the door. One time some arrogant asshole with a clearly fake-looking id clipped to his jacket tried to sell me a water heater. He got a lecture about how he obviously can’t read the No Soliciting sign posted to my front screen at which point he tried to engage me in an argument that he wasn’t soliciting. “YOU WANT TO ARGUE WITH ME?” I yelled at him through the screen door. “BRING IT ON! I LIVE WITH TEENAGERS!”

At one grocery store I frequent about twice a week there is a heavily made-up, overweight and rather mopy cashier girl who works there on weekends. She has impractically long, painted nails, blue and green eyeshadow (she’s 20ish but clearly into the retro 80s) and is extremely heavy. Maybe she’s umcomfortable which would explain her bad attitude and demeanor. As she scans the items through she places them into my cloth bags with no rhyme or reason – tomatoes and grapes first, milk carton and potatoes on top. That kind of thing. So I suggested to her one time that she place all cold items (dairy, meat) in one bag and to hand me the produce, I would pack it myself. Instead of doing that, she continues to scan the items as if she didn’t hear me (she did) but at half the pace, barely acknowledging my stretched out hand. So I put an evil spell on her and hoped she would break every last of her fake nails. 😈 (Not really. 😂 She just really irritated me and I never choose that register anymore when she’s working.)

24 thoughts on “Stupid things I have done I am not proud of

  1. In spite of the title here, I suspect you don’t feel too bad. Selfishly proud, perhaps?

    If it makes you feel better: I once tripped a girl in a bar because she was unnecessarily rude to me. I also accidently caught a different girls hair on fire too. (That one wasn’t my fault…mostly wasn’t my fault….nah, not my fault at all.)

    Also, and to my absolute shame (I’m literally one of the worst people in the world because of this,) was unnecessarily mean to a Foster Kid back in school. On several occasions. For really no reason. I feel actual shame as I think about this.

    -In my defense, I didn’t really grasp the concept of any of the reasons why a kid would be in foster care at the time. Still….thinking about it now….damn. Just…damn.

    So you should wear those things you did with a banner of pride. That spike of insolence as you stick it to the (wo)man.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My wife has gotten so fed up with grocery store baggers putting milk cartons on top of grapes that she always asks the cashier if she can just bag them herself. They think she’s being nice, but really, she’s preventing a possible meltdown.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. If I don’t know who you are or can’t see you through the peep hole, I don’t answer the door. People are still absolute a-holes, though, thinking that pounding and ringing the bell over and over is going to get me to change my mind. I may just start answering the door and screaming that I have teenagers at them instead. I kind of like that idea.

    Hubby worked as a sacker years and years ago when he was in high school. It is a never ending conversation when we go to the store about how horrible sackers are today. Even when we make things stupidly easy for them by putting all the items together on the belt that we want sacked together, they still in up in the most asinine combinations ever. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to make a grilled cheese out of smushed bread?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve done the first one more than once.
    I mostly bag my own groceries now because yes, apparently part of check-out training skips over how to put things in the bags correctly.

    On a positive note, it was suggested to me by one of our local missionary duo’s who routinely canvas the city to spread their views that they will respect any home that puts up a sign asking them not to attempt to engage. I did and thus far it has worked. I would gladly allow the young guy to stop one more time so I can tell him thank you 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The Jehova Witnesses are respectful of the sign. The others aren’t just ignoring it, they are downright disrespectful. One elderly neighbour told me they pestered her to get her income tax form…

      I took the sign down for Halloween so as not to confuse the kids 🙂 but it’s back up again.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Too funny, Claudette. I’ve had similar experiences grocery shopping. I’m terrible this way, but I profile cashiers … if they look like trouble, I stay clear and skip to another line. You can bet that jar of Nutella is still where you left it.

    Liked by 1 person

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