Posted on by Writer of Words, etc

How to talk yourself into going for a couch25k run

Step1: Post this picture to instagram.

Step 2: Whine to your instagram friends by assigning them a pop quiz.

Step 3: Look outside and convince yourself that the weather is perfect but won’t be forever and today is the perfect day to go for a couch25k run/walk.

Step 4: Follow the cheery voice in your app and do your warmup walk (5 minutes) on the sidewalk, the run/walk combination on the apple orchard trail, and take in the scenery to distract yourself and thereby stay motivated.

See my shadow? Proof that I did it.

Step 5: Keep panting like a dog while you take in the scenery and tune out all the negative voices in your head.

Step 6: Run past the college campus in the hopes that some Co-Eds are out so you can compare yourself that you’re still as young and energetic as you once were, like them, even if only in your head. Alas, the Co-Eds were nowhere to be seen at 8:45 am on a Saturday morning. Probably still passed out from partying/drinking and god knows what else they do all night.

Step 6: Make it home without crying. While kettle is boiling for coffee, drink water, heat up bean bag in microwave, and do some cool down stretches. When coffee is ready, sit on couch with bean bag on thighs to help with the dull ache and plan your funeral guest list.

End Result: Today was worse than two days ago. I managed to not do the last two runs at all, but power-walked through them. But I did the full 25 minutes so there’s that.

I don’t know if I’m cut out for this, to be quite honest.

40 Replies to “How to talk yourself into going for a couch25k run”

  1. Hilariously, it took me this whole post to figure out that “couch25K” means “couch TO 5k” and not that you are running a full 25K. HA HA HA!

    Although either way – 25 or 5 – planning your funeral guest list is also TRUE and HILARIOUS.

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  5. Here’s my take on this: if you really like running then run, however…if this is more about just being out and getting some exercise then stop pressuring yourself. Running is hard on the knees, maybe not now but give yourself some time. Your 65 yr old body will be giving you hell for the abuse you put your knees through. I think it’s more about moving, in whatever way makes you the happiest when you’re doing it. And not about having to be in pain after…

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    1. I don’t think could do group running…if I ran with you it would be embarassing. You’d be 12 times around the orchard by the time I did one circuit… 🙂

      I guess I’ll try again. One bad run is part of it.

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    1. I don’t hate it. I just had a bad run today. I love the area I’m in with all the scenery and options to change my route…but the pain and discomfort after sucks. Also I’m majorly PMSing which isn’t helpful. Ugh. 🙂

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      5. The area’s changed so much the past decade or so. I’d forgotten that place was ever there. I grew up in Northern Etobicoke above the 401, but ventured down to Lakeshore, Mimico, New Toronto … very pretty any season.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. The teeny bungalows are listed at 900k+ if that gives you an idea. The strip joint opposite my daughter’s school finally went out of business a couple of years ago, and the swingers club moved to Dundas West area. 🙂 Huge changes even since 2001 when we moved here. And Humber is buying everything up. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  12. I need to use the gym today but enjoying my keto bagels, coffee, and talking with husband. Lots of little chores and grading to do, later but fall is finally in the air. Either this afternoon or tomorrow, the gym.

    Liked by 1 person

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