But you’re home all day

Yes I am. Thank you for noticing. I am home all day. Except when I’m out walking a dog for pay so I can purchase groceries to feed you.

Or when I’m out at the grocery store to purchase food to feed you.

Or when I’m out picking up or dropping off you or your sister for all the numerous sports you guys play.

Or when I have to go to big box store or the mall to shop for things like clothing you outgrow.

Or when I’m out dropping off bags of outgrown clothing from your closet.

And yes, I do spend time sitting on my couch with a laptop on my lap or a phone in my hand.

I advertise my dog walking/pet sitting business. Do you know how much effort this takes for someone like me who is an introverted, shy person? I prepare information packages for people, respond to inquires in facebook or email, and advertise my services. It may look like I’m hanging out on facebook but I’m actually working. To bring extra money in to help us manage debt and feed you, clothe you and send you to competitive sports.

And I arrange to keep the calendar updated so we can coordinate this busy and hectic lifestyle we chose to live with the two of you. I do this with a laptop on my lap or a phone in my hand. It may look like I’m watching fortnite 😡 or hockey 😢 or baseball πŸ˜‚ videos, or scrolling instragram 😐, but I’m actually updating and scheduling things from one app to another to keep us organized.

I also book appointments for the family, or register you and your sister for your endless activities. Did you know that most organizations require this to be done online? That’s why I’m sitting here with the devices. I’m working for you.

Perhaps you think the banking is fun? That’s another thing that requires constant scrutiny, which I mostly do online as well. When was the last time you paid a bill by moving funds from one account to another, carefully calculating that there is enough in each account to cover upcoming expenses? It takes brainpower to do this, and would work much faster, and better, if I didn’t have constant interruptions about stupid things like earbuds.

No I didn’t take your earbuds. I did see them on the couch a while ago, but I haven’t had a chance to sit on the couch so don’t ask me. I don’t know where you put your stuff.

Yes, you’re right. I do get frustrated at all the clutter everyone leaves around every communal place in this house. There are times when I may collect it and put it away. Or throw it out. Depends on my mood. Don’t want that to happen? Put your shit away. Or at least don’t leave it in the communal areas of this house.

No I will not figure out what time your coach wants you dropped off at his house. It’s your coach, your game, your responsibility. I don’t care if you don’t know what time the game starts, you have teamsnap on your phone, the same device you stare at all day. No, don’t pester your dad about it, he is working two jobs to help support your competitive sport, he has other things going on with his time. You call your coach and figure it out. And then let me know in a timely fashion in case I have to arrange my schedule to accommodate you. You may or may not find me in the house when you have your answer. Why not? Read this list to help remind you.

So yes, I agree, I do spend a lot of time being home. Still want to debate with me?

I didn’t think so.

Now, why do I have to ask you again to empty the dishwasher?

Please send wine, chocolate, and/or a ticket to anywhere but here where there is peace and quiet, and wifi. Don’t forget the wifi. I really, really want to write other things besides this drivel. πŸ˜€

28 thoughts on “But you’re home all day

  1. This has so been my life at points. I will say, that I think I may be lucky because the two left at home really don’t push me to this level of frustration. At least not so much now that they are teenagers. Is that backwards?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re lucky. I just finished a chat with the teen about fairness. He thinks he does more than his sister. He does significantly less, but he doesn’t see it. I don’t know how to tackle any of it anymore other than just do it myself to avoid all and any confrontation. Sigh. Maybe it’s a phase…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I made my kids start doing a lot of their own crap a long time ago. Laundry, cleaning their rooms and bathrooms, that kind of stuff. They either live with it and not do it, or they learn to do the work and gain some personal responsibility. When you have kids that are most likely on the OCD spectrum, they do the work. If you have a kid that can live without, they absolutely do (OC did and it was not fun). My youngest two also learned to appreciate the work that goes into those things and are less likely to complain when asked to do thing (less likely, but they do still complain sometimes).

        When it comes to activities and things like that, I need advanced warning (more than a few hours or even a day, depending on activity) and specifics or they don’t do it. Miss a practice or event because you didn’t tell me about it, maybe you will remember next time. Again, not so much an issue with the younger two, but my oldest was… exceptionally difficult on every single level. We actually had a school counselor tell us to let him fail and then he’d learn. Well, he managed to fail, but never managed to do the learning part.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. It’s so hard. My kid is the most literal kid in the world. He sees he did 3 chores today and his sister did none (she wasn’t even home till the afternoon) thereby I am unfair. She also baked a cake we all ate the day before, did the dishes before and after, and while he was at sports, and helps with other things he doesn’t witness. He can’t get beyond the ‘it’s not fair I do more than she’.

        I don’t know what to do. The speech was obviously futile and I may take it down.

        But thank you for your contribution, as always. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Ah, he is a score keeper. I have those in my family (both my mother and my MIL) and you can almost never please them. They don’t understand the concept of balance over time or that not everything in the world is equal all the time. I honestly don’t know how to deal with it as I never really figured it out. Maybe have them both start keeping a chart of all the things they do so he can see an actual representation of the work done?

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Just a thought here from a Dad point of view. (My youngest two are both teenagers, a B/G mix and engaged in competitive sports as well so I can smell what you’re stepping in.)

        If you do it yourself you certainly are avoiding the problems in the short-term. However, you are also guaranteeing that you’ll experience the same problems later. Breathe deeply, gird yourself for battle, engage their Father if you have to, and make them do these things.

        You’re saving yourself from having to fight this same fight in perpetuity (Ok, who am I kidding by this really? He’s a teenage boy it’s going to be your battle until it’s not.) You’re also hopefully teaching him habits that he’ll carry into adulthood so that his future wife (which you will either fully approve or disprove of,) won’t have to deal with.

        The easy part is, you’re the parent and it’s ultimately your house. Ergo, it’s your rules and if you choose to not let him have a say about something then there’s nothing to fight about.

        I’ve already been through one teenaged boy and although every child is different, if there’s one thing I’ve learned is that you have to play the long game. As in, what am I teaching him now that I want him to be doing in five years. Then be consistent in it and ignore the short-term overthinking which, in my experience, Moms aren’t always the best at.

        At any rate, I thoroughly enjoyed and can empathize with you on this post. Thank you for putting it out there.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I appreciate the dad point of view. I think for my kid’s dad, he is having some trouble seeing things through bec he’s so busy and prefers silence when doing his stuff that he doesn’t want to ‘weather the storm’, as I call it. I keep saying weathering their whining in the short term will at least set the boundaries for the future, just as you stated.

        It’s like I have to train all of them, the adult too. Sigh.

        Thank you though, I appreciate your feedback.


  2. It must be the time of year because I just had a similar conversation with my offspring. And it IS wonderful watching the older one trying to be the parent to HIS offspring. I’ll admit I MIGHT have said “I told you so” only once or twice instead of the dozens and dozens I’ve wanted to.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Unfortunately a rant is necessary, but it is better if it can be done calmly otherwise i get tuned out as “having one of those days”.
    Excellent that you stand up for yourself, now make them sit down and listen while you let them choose one way they can help you in their own home. I suspect that they could do more, and that it would be good for them. Check their work, and use the sandwich method of feedback – what they did well, what they could improve, and what you liked. Good luck Claudette, it could be more work at first helping them learn but better in the long run.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I rant like this a few times a year. It sticks, for a while. Then we get busy and the kids slack off and I reach my limit…

      They’re getting older. It’s getting better. But I reached my limit yesterday. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Claudette, I am sure many can understand this situation. After a month with the grandkid not cleaning up his room, taking out the dogs and watching X box, I get it. I just spend 2 hours cleaning one room and shifting the dogs who pooed all over to another room. Then I went off on the father and he hung up on me. Do they get it?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. They do get it and the rant from me happens less often because essentially they do remember. But when things get busy they slack off and we adults cave and then we start over again.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. At first when I saw the topic I thought those were the words if your partner. Thankfully, it’s only the words of your son. Yes, it pisses us off but coming from the offspring isn’t nearly as serious as coming from our partners. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. They catch on, the kids. Each time I rant about this they last a bit longer in remembering or doing their part. But we get busy and then one, or both of us adults cave, and we have to start over again. πŸ™„

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I assume that the day will come Claudette, when you can sit back and plaster a little smile on your face as you watch either one or both of these kids dealing with life the way you do right now. It will feel amazing and I firmly believe that it is okay to remind them at that point of this blog post and every moment you gave to them.
    Some of my greatest joy as a mother has been watching my kids experience life as adults, especially the one with kids. She has asked many times why I didn’t just leave them all and start a new life… πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 4 people

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