I’ve decided I’m going to build a boat.
Then, I’m going to invite all the paired animals to join me on my boat to travel the seas that will exist between North America’s east and west coasts.
The great lakes can just merge with the Atlantic and Pacific oceans. Won’t make any difference whatsoever, as it’s all water that will have us submerged here.
The first animal I’m going to invite onto my boat will be this fucking fly that’s been buzzing around here for two days straight. I don’t know, nor care, whether it’s a male or female fly. Whatever type it is it doesn’t matter. I killed the other two which could have been the spousal partner of the one. Or both. Whatever. They’re both dead. I smashed one with an empty tissue box against the screen of a window and it was only half dead when I flushed it down the toilet. The other one died an equally slow and painful death inside a desk lamp. It fried on the light bulb because I trapped it with a book I had just finished reading.
Good riddance.
Two neighbouring cities have pulled the baseball diamond licenses. My kid was supposed to play in a game tonight.
GUESS WHAT CITIES. NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY IN THIS GODFORSAKEN RAIN.
I’m sure it has to do with liabilities.
Whatever.
I spent the morning writing romantic fiction, and now, I’m going to search for planks of wood to start on my boat.
Blah.
Guess what makes killing annoying flying insects fun? An electric fly swatter! One of the best purchases I’ve ever made in my life. Instead of being fearful of spiders, I damn near wish for them to cross my path so I can fry them to death.
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Ooooh…sounds like something I need. 😉
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It’ll change your view of domestic bug control, haha.
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I love this post so much 🙂 You’re brilliant when you’re angry.
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That was hilarious! There is an old saying that if it rains on Good Friday, it means 40 days of rain….and I think that is true this year. All the baseball diamonds are flooded here, and soccer fields as well – cancelled until it dries up.
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Can I go on your boat? This rain is getting a bit much…and off and on snow ughhh!!
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This rain is getting old. And flies deserve to fry on lamp bulbs as their punishment for invading our homes
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It’s funny you talk about erotic fiction and then look for wood….just saying
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lol. I saw that after I published. 😉
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😀 (Unsurprisingly) my first thought as well!! A Freudian slip?
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I changed the wording slightly. 😉
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Scientists think it may be possible to get rid of mosquitoes. Something about making them sterile.
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