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Hormonal plunge in middle age

by Writer of Words, etc

For several days during every month I feel more irritable, more pissed off, more inclined to run away and never come back than the rest of the month.

It’s hormones. In midlife, hormones play a huge role in emotion control. Or lack of control. This is true for most women I think, but I wouldn’t be surprised if men, too, had periods of less patience and more irritability. (Feel free to chime in, men…)

There are of course ways to minimize this, um, bitchiness from affecting those who live with/closest to you but it takes energy, focus and patience, none of which I seem to have much during those few days.

I’d rather be a hermit during that time.

Alas, this is not possible. So, I researched what needs to be done, and I accessed my various alternative medical professionals, and I adjusted my diet, and I tried to increase exercise, and decrease sugar, white flour and alcohol and all that stuff works to a degree but…

I still get moody.

So. What.

The point is, I recognize when it’s coming and understand what triggers me to lose my shit. Like, after dinner, that’s a huge trigger. We finally managed to get the kids to consistently clean up and do all the dishes to about 73.8%  of my expectations, but it doesn’t happen quickly, or quietly.

They argue. They try to cut corners. They try to pawn off jobs on the other. They put stuff away incorrectly which causes me to fly into a rage the next day when I open the drawer and notice that it will take me several minutes of digging around to find my item.

“It’s not rocket science!” I yell at them. “The pots are organized by size so they all fit! WHY DO I HAVE TO CONTINUOUSLY YELL ABOUT THIS?”

Sigh.

This exact thing had me in a rage one morning a few weeks ago when I couldn’t sleep and got up at 5 am. I had a story brewing inside my head and wanted to make coffee and sit on the couch so I could type it out. I opened a cupboard to take something out when a loud crash startled me. Probably woke up the rest of the house too.

I looked closer. The kids who cleaned up last night stacked the plates without rhyme or reason. So, the large plates were balancing precariously on top of smaller plates. When I opened the cupboard the high pile of incorrectly stacked plates tipped over and knocked several small glass bowls out of the cupboard and onto the counter and floor.

Naturally they shattered. There was now broken glass all over and I didn’t even have my first cup of coffee ready yet.

Ask me how happy that made me.

Ask me how grumpy everyone else was when they woke up.

“Mom is in a pissy mood again” they say…and this makes me fly into a rage all over again.

“Who’s fault is that?” I yell back and start in on the rocket science again.

SIGH

Anyway, we managed to talk about this exact topic one night at dinner when everyone was calm and I hope that it made sense to them. I don’t expect it to last, but I expect it to at least trigger their brain cells to maybe, just maybe, make that little bit of extra effort to put something away correctly in order to avoid another crash and rage fit from me.

Unfortunately, this is the kind of thing that happens more often than not, and does preoccupy me more than it should. And when it happens during that week of hormonal plunge, well then, maybe they could start to make note of that. I can do my part (escape into the bedroom) but they, too, could/should do theirs.

That’s all I ask. A little bit of cooperation along with some rudimentary understanding of WHY the things happen as they do will go a long way.

 

27 thoughts on “Hormonal plunge in middle age”

  1. OMG this is post describes the world I live in so exactly. I typically look after the kitchen after meals – wash up, dry up, and put things away. IN THE SAME PLACES. I also wash the tops down when I’m done. While I was sick the kids “helped” (in that special way that kids do, where they only do half the job, and to half the standard) – meaning I had to come along after them, putting things right… urgh.

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  3. Oh God I am so with you on this. The amount of rage boiling around me would be enough to power a city for a year. Everyone and everything is annoying me – I’m such a middle-aged cliche! The more I think about it the more I realise it probably is something to with hormones. I hate to say this – but they do have an impact I’m sure. But permanent PMT is not a good look and my family grow very weary of it. I did a yoga class last week and I felt like a different woman. Definitely going to do that again. This too will pass! I hope. The plate smashing glass thing would have made me livid!!

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  6. Love this line: We finally managed to get the kids to consistently clean up and do all the dishes to about 73.8% of my expectations, but it doesn’t happen quickly, or quietly.

    Made me smile. Especially the specificity of the 78.3%.

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  8. “We finally managed to get the kids to consistently clean up and do all the dishes to about 73.8% of my expectations, but it doesn’t happen quickly, or quietly.” LOL! I literally sold a pilot pitch based on this. “Like the leaning tower of Pisa her dreams, like those dishes, crashed to the ground.” I’m telling you, it’s a THING and you are not alone!!!!!!

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  9. Oh I can relate .. when those days come and yes I believe it’s hormonal. … I am a raging bitch myself . Yes my family looks at me like I am something out of this world but they only have to deal with this several maybe a week out of each month . I hear them complain all the time 🙄

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  10. <<< brings in a bag of Lindt chocolates and backs slowly away making constant eye contact

    that's what I read about handling a situation when encountering a angry lioness. of course I'd have a big gun with me if I were ever encountered one.

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      1. not me. I’m crazy stupid. I’d come in with the whip and the chair and do my best lion tamer imitation. kinda kinky, huh?

        Like

  11. I’m always short tempered and irritable, every day of every month.
    There is an English joke about a hormone but I’ve not read enough of your posts yet to see if it would be acceptable. I shall read and wait.

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  13. You are definitely not alone. Also, as to the stacking dishes in a precarious way: WTF!
    Regarding rage: I am finding myself increasingly frustrated by my two lane road construction and drivers who go too slow and won’t pull over. I’m probably going to have an aneurysm.

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    1. Try not to have an aneurysm, I like it when we chat in the blogs! 🙂

      Today on the way to the store I had major construction blocking the road. I detoured the long way and that road was blocked by a police car. There was a huge accident (fire trucks, EMS) further down. I had to detour AGAIN just to get to the store…SIGH. This stuff is beyond my control but not fun to have happen…last thing I wanted to do was be stuck in a car during this ‘finally’ beautiful weather, but there you have it.

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  15. Oh man, I’ve been dealing with that too! It’s exhausting.

    And I’m also tired of yelling, ” Why do I have to remind you of your morning routine every day?! You’ve been doing it every morning of your life for 11 years!”

    It’s enough to make me crazy.

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