Emerging from the comfort zone: part 2

This post is part of a series. You can read part 1 here.

The other day was the Super Bowl in America. This is probably the only time I watch American Football up here in my little corner of southern Canada. Not so much for the sport, but for all the hoopla. You know, the commercials (fun), the halftime show (meh), the ridiculous amount of fan fare over some players (ugh)… it’s entertaining to me.

Also, the food prep that goes on prior to the actual event is pretty cool. Everyone has a thing they do on tv about what to eat while the game is on. Americans have that down, don’t you think? I could snack on football party food quite often, truth be told. 🙂

But that’s not what I was going to talk about here. I wanted to talk about this preoccupation about comfort zones I mentioned the other day. You know, how people tend to get stuck in a rut, prefer same as opposed to new because it’s easier, fantasize about change but are too tired/lazy/fearful of the amount of work it will take…

On a whim I posted something on Instagram the night of the football game, but in hindsight, I wonder if my caption implies something that isn’t the whole truth.

My caption implies, or actually states out loud, that I was abandoned by the rest of the family on a night when many families get together with friends to have a party, of sorts.

In fact, this is not the whole truth.

You see, Sunday evenings are busy in this household. The girl child has a 2-hour baseball practice at a local gym (it’s off-season training), and my partner has shinny around the same time, a hockey game with a bunch of local dads at an outdoor rink here in the neighbourhood. They both leave around the dinner hour, which coincided with the football game starting.

I dropped off the girl and got back before kickoff, to a teenager plugged into his phone chatting with friends. He asked me about the chicken bites, so I put some in the oven and sat down beside him. I half listened to his chatter with his friends but I kept an eye on my phone, reading random stuff while watching the game in front of me.

After a while, he went downstairs, probably to plug into fortnite or whatever. It sounded like he was on group chat, I’m sure that’s what they ended up doing.

That’s when I posted the picture. And called it abandonment.

But here I am this morning, thinking about this whole comfort zone business I mentioned the other day. My mind keeps going back to the whole abandonment issue.

Why did I feel abandoned?

Or, if I didn’t feel it, why did I say it? Am I trying to evoke a response from the internet?

Alternately, is the feeling of [ implied ] abandonment, which leads to a desired solitude (for me, often), part of the comfort zone I find myself trying to push beyond?

Here’s the strange thing: I don’t mind being alone. I often choose it, too. But that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy socializing. I do. I just don’t do it very often.

When life is busy and all about obligations and kids and chores, one tends to crave the solitude that comes so rarely, no?

Tell me the truth…are there times when everything is finally done, you find yourself choosing the alone option over the bonding option with someone? Choosing a corner away from them to be alone with your thoughts, as a way of recharging?

Is this a parent thing? A midlife thing? A girl thing? 🙄

Or is it just me? 🙃

I appreciate all the comments that came back on yesterday’s post, but if you come here waiting for me to give you answers, I am sorry to disappoint you.

I have no answers, only more questions.

Which shouldn’t stop you from contributing. Please do, if you have something to share.



20 Replies to “Emerging from the comfort zone: part 2”

  1. It is a sad affair. We are individuals, not family oriented\pack mammals. Yet, we go against nature and contract bind ourselves to another(s) not just the partner, but our offspring. Being animals, we still relish the hunt. (that explains the worlds fascination with social media and romance apps and just why most relationiships end, not with death, but by deceit) I have always felt alone trough life, since childhood thru adulthood. Only time in life my lonelineless placated, was alas, when I indulged the inner wolf. I dont crave the freedom (too much) but only that feeling of acomplishment, and those initial steps in the foolishness of romance, the only way I found in life to deceive loneliness.
    We evolved and settled, but deep inside us the hunt endures.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Okay this is going to be hard to explain … I love having my family around the house active with noises but then I love my own time alone reading writing etc.. then when there is that moment where everyone is out and about and here I sit and I too feel abandoned . I think it’s a mom thing .. we want are family around but then want some quiet time then get it and it’s an awkward thing … I hope this made sense ?

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes you understood and you explained it perfect . Exactly it lol Crazy hmm nahh lol let me just say as they become adults it’s the same feeling always a mom . Don’t be too hard on yourself I think your a great mom.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m a tad bit confused as to what the actual question or questions are. Earlier in the post you said you wanted to talk about comfort zones. I’m not sure how comfort zones ties in with getting stuck in a rut and how they both tie in with choosing alone time vs bonding.

    Comfort zones / stuck in a rut – I think I do this not out of fear but because I function best with routines and schedules. Plus here at my Mom’s I don’t have much of an opportunity to do anything different, but this is a weird situation so I have to pass on this question until I get out of this situation. LOL

    Alone time vs bonding – I live for alone time! Sometimes I feel guilty leaving my Mom in the living room alone to read her book or watch TV, but I don’t get a lot of alone time so I force myself to indulge now and then. I think it’s very important to have it.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I think it may be a parent thing. Much as I enjoy spending time with the kids, I do look forward to that moment when they are all in bed and I can sit back without anyone wanting my attention.

    I have probably always been a bit like this — needing time to myself — but it has become more noticeable with children because their activities tend to set the rhythm of the day/evening.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’m not certain about whether it’s a female thing, but I told my husband two nights ago that I wanted a week off from everyone …and hurt his feelings.

    He thought I ought to want to spend a week off with him at least.

    Perhaps it’s an introvert thing? I feel overstimulated from everyone NEEDING me.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I am not all up on the current “self-care” thing, but I think what you are describing is that. As a mom (you, not me) it is important to find time for yourself and recharge. Lots is asked of mothers and you can’t complete your “job” if you aren’t fully rested, recharged, etc. There should be no guilt, no shame, for taking care of you. Enjoy it!

    Liked by 2 people

Share your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.