Shopping with lunatics

Question of the day:

Do I attract lunatics?

This is a rhetorical question.

It appears that I cannot leave the house without stuff happening to me. Is is something I do that turns every shopping trip into an unwanted adventure?

Shopping, especially grocery or household supplies shopping, isn’t my favorite activity. I plan my trip, use a list, get in and out as quickly as possible. But every time I go to a big box store, I’m faced with a situation…

I wasn’t even with my family that day, I was all alone… ๐Ÿ™ƒ

So I’m at Costco. I just stepped past the dude at the door who handed me a flyer. I move my cart off to the side and glance over it.

Suddenly, this short, little Italian woman approaches me, starts talking to me.

I look up and around me. Is she talking to someone behind me?

Nope. She’s talking to me.

Fine, I’ll tune in.

“I’m so disappointed with Dyson, I do not recommend this product”, she says.


I turn my head toward the long wall of product displays. I’m standing closest to the KitchenAid stand-up mixers, not vacuum cleaners.

“Don’t ever get a Dyson”, the woman continues. “Blah blah blah…”

Ok then. I nod at her, make some small-talk comment, and start pushing my cart forward. Ah, now I see the Dysons. That’s what must have got her started.

The woman in the meantime is still be behind me, talking, pointing, gesturing.

Why is she following me? What made her pick me out of all the people in the store to spread her message to? What is it about Costco lately?

I see a little old man standing hunched over near the vacuums. Could he be her husband? Maybe he already knows her issues with the brand. Perhaps this is why he’s standing there alone, looking a little forlorn…


I’m not iterested in Dysons, or any vacuum cleaners today, so why is this woman yapping at me about that topic?

I made my escape somehow, possibly by ignoring her (politely, of course) and continued with my day.

Next I stop at a discount grocery store. I pick up my wares and get in line at the register. The first customer is handling cash, the next one ahead of me still loading her stuff onto the conveyor belt. The cashier looks at me with my full cart, not doing anything.

“Do you have a points card?” She wants to know.

“Yes”, I reply.

The cashier streches out her hand.

“Give it to me”, she demands.

The customer in front of me gives me a look. Her points card is in her hand as she’s next in line, her food about to be scanned in.

“I’ll wait my turn”, I tell the cashier.

You should have seen the look on her face. Like I said something offensive.

What is up with people? I mean, there is no rush to get the points card to her until my items get scanned in. Why does she want my card now? She’s handling cash for the original customer who is still in the process of paying, and will get the points card from the next customer, which is not yet me, shortly.


Whatever. I seem to attract the weirdos while shopping. At least this one didn’t leave a putrid smell.

Also made me remember the time when I was handed a religious pamphlet solicited by a Jehovah Witness message in exchange for a coin for the cart. See what I mean?

I should just stop shopping.


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