Preamble: As a SAHM with two kids in rep sports, my working life is sporadic at best. It is currently non-existent which is no one’s fault but my own. I focus on blogging or writing for the habit and pleasure of it, enter contests to challenge myself, and sometimes submit to or accept contract positions to edit work or write articles. I spend most of my time at home trying to keep the family unit running and healthy. It never occurred to me back in the day when I had infants and toddlers that life could get this hectic with school-aged kids, who are also active in sports. This is the reason for the tone of this post…a post I wrote in order to adhere to my commitment to keep writing during NaBloPoMo.
I read a lot of blogs. Social media, too. And news. Twitter.
I follow carefully, only entities or people who inform or entertain eloquently or thought-provokingly, and show potential for engagement with likes and especially comments. Engagement is a lifeline when in the trenches of parenthood.
Here’s the thing: all this reading should inspire me to write more. Or write better.
In actual fact, it does. My drafts inside my WordPress profile, or in various other places, are full of ideas. Unrefined and incomplete ideas, that is.
Drivel, mostly. But that drivel is still words I wrote…
And my book? Haven’t even looked at it in months. Even though I think about it daily.
I just can’t seem to get my head back into it.
My rejected pieces I submitted to an assortment of contests? Plans are in place to revitalize and submit them elsewhere. Plans…but not action.
I have piles of written stuff I could do something with and yet…
It’s just not happening.
Why is that?
Maybe it’s because I find myself consumed by the daily minutiae. It’s to the point where I’m overwhelmed and buried by the constant, incessant motherly and household obligations.
It truly never ends.
Naturally I have all kinds of
explanations excuses. The fact that this college strike is still ongoing isn’t helping, either.
It also kind of explains why I have clean laundry in baskets in my living room pretty much every day of the week, waiting to be sorted and put away. And dirty ones downstairs…
Or dishwashers that run two, three times a day but only get unloaded when there’s a kid around I can delegate the chore to.
Then there’s the cooking (always from scratch), preceded by grocery shopping, which is preceded by list making…
Dinner is the first thought I wake up to every day. What’s for dinner? When’s dinner? Who’s got practice? Do I need to shop first?
Then a car breaks down. A storm is announced, snow shovels need to be dug out from be under the porch. At least one kid has an activity. Another has homework and anxiety over a test. There’s forms to sign, bills to pay, birthday parties to plan…My pinched nerve in my neck acts up, and I can’t find my bean-bag.
Bla bla blah.
I allow myself to get distracted under the ruse that all that stuff is crucial. Even though it really isn’t. The kids can pitch in and often do even if I don’t take control of their electronic devices.
We pitch in, get it done. Tomorrow is a new day, I’ll be better prepared, focused, ready by then.
All I need to do is put fingers to keyboard and churn out the words.